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820. I don't wanna let this go.

2012-01-31T19:50:00.003+08:00

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles (Cover by Boyce Avenue feat. Alex Goot)
"If I could fall into the sky,
Do you think time would pass me by?
‘Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles,
If I could just see you tonight.

It’s always times like these when I think of you,
And I wonder if you think of me.
‘Cause everything’s so wrong and I don’t belong
Living in your precious memory."

White Chicks, anyone? ;)
I'll miss your voice singing this to me.

819.

2012-01-30T18:20:00.001+08:00

Monday went completely wrong. I am extremely pissed off now. Ok bye.

818. Morning thoughts...

2012-01-30T01:23:00.001+08:00

Hey there. It's slightly past one in the morning and here I am in bed, typing this post... because you're pretty much the only something that I can rely on now. Regardless of whether or not my phone will go ninja mode and hit my teary face, I'll still go on typing this.

I've taken my medication, treated it like a sleeping pill when no, I shouldn't have. Then again, life just doesn't seem to mean so much to me anymore... Or does it? I guess it doesn't quite matter that much at all. 😔

That one call has just seemed to fuck up my night.. Where's that strong girl I once knew? Elaine, come back..... please. I don't know what kind of monster that this thing called reality has turned me into, I don't know how that shit managed to drive the courageous individual away.

What's left of me, is this. And on nights like these, I can never get myself to sleep, no matter how exhausted I am. Maybe this is the weaker side of me showing. Then again, where's the strong side? Gone? I don't remember resorting to swallowing pills to get myself to sleep.

Once upon a time, life meant a lot more to me than this.

Sometimes I don't even know what holding on to anymore. Hun, you're the only exception. You're one of the few things that's still allowing me to keep my sanity in me. If you ever give up on me now, I won't know where to go. Life is a piece of scary bullshit, the thought that you'd be there for me at the end of every day seems to be what's driving me to keep myself alive...

I hate how you said this seems to be holding us back. Or rather, holding you back. I know you said you were tired, but it scares me. It fucking scares me so bad to think I might be losing you soon.. Whoa, I don't even know where to go from here.

It's like, I'm a soldier who's determined to win a war for his country so the lives of his family members won't be jeopardized, but suddenly I'm told that my family members were already killed by... say, the government. And I'd lose all my drive to even fight anymore, or even be alive. That feeling. That feeling of being betrayed by someone whom you love so much, and you're putting your life on the line for. That feeling of being betrayed by the one you're fighting for...........

And sometimes, I don't know how to feel anymore. Nights like these. A truckload on my mind, yet, really, I don't know what to think anymore.

Remember when I said I wouldn't give this up without putting up a fight? Well, I meant it.. But it's just that I don't think there's a point in fighting if the fight's a futile one. I don't think there's a point in fighting if I'm gonna be the only one who wants to hold on. I don't think there's a point in fighting if the outcome's not gonna change.

Please, just prove me wrong.
Just this once.

817.

2012-01-28T19:35:00.003+08:00

Just checked the stats of my blog and the number of visits dropped by a lot! :O But never mind, I guess that's what happens when you don't blog regularly anymore, and when you do, you blog boring stuff. Plus school's in and stuff.

Maaan I'm really tired! :( Week 4 of school just ended, how quick. Unfortunately for me, I just fell ill yesterday. Falling ill on a Friday? I know right, fml. Gave tuition a miss today, not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but I know I hate being ill. Plus I slept my entire Saturday away thanks to my pills.....

And no I don't have much to blog about anymore. There has been so much on my mind lately, yet I don't know what to think. I guess my mind's on switch-off today, I'm feeling like an empty shell right now, drifting aimlessly around and feeling so empty inside.

What's wrong with me?

816. The year of the dragon.

2012-01-24T15:40:00.007+08:00

Happy Lunar New Year, folks! :) I'd share what I did over the weekend but really, there's nothing worth talking about since I don't go visiting anyway, and no pictures to share since I didn't take any (apart from some I uploaded on Facebook via my phone)...

Spent the past three days with my family, my big brother brought the kids over. :) Really love them 'cause they're so sweet and adorable, sometimes a tad too barbaric as well, but that's okie. :) The only thing that upsets me is that I don't see the old me in them. We're not even two decades apart, yet they're so different from what I once pictured them to be.

Amazingly, I'm one of the 90's kid, and I'm thankful for that, because I know technology wasn't part of my childhood. Or maybe it was, but definitely not a great part. Unfortunately, look at the children today -- they have gadgets to play with, be it XBox 360, laptops, iPhones, the iPod Touch, some even iPads. Damn, the 90's kids didn't have those. We had the television, y' know?

'Nuff said. I dozed off on the sofa for an hour yesterday after my big brother left, then spent my evening at Krista's, with Yongxin. Watched Rush Hour 3 (for what seemed like the hundredth time) and we camwhored after that. HAHA.

Discovery? Yongxin has the habit of making this face at the camera...
Picture credits to Krista, the rest are on her Facebook page somewhere.

Alright, now that CNY's (almost) over, the period of hardcore mugging's gonna start to start. Now I know that sounded dumb but I know I can't start immediately... So yeah. HAHA. Have a pleasant week ahead peeps! Love y' all many k. :)

Oh and I know that people barely even read my blog now but... HEH HEH.
Whatever, bye! :>

815. #Reblog.

2012-01-22T02:26:00.001+08:00

Hey baby, maybe it's just tonight.

814. Three weeks down.

2012-01-20T23:53:00.000+08:00

End of third week of school! Really tired out now and I just spent hours talking to Jon over Skype. :) Had a few issues over the week, but we're alright now. I mean, I can never stay mad at someone for long, especially if I love that someone. :) Heh heh.

Week 3 sucked balls I swear, had daily tests, and some were overlapped. So I'm really glad that week 3's finally over, and CNY's here! :) The celebrations were today but I had a really long school day, sigh. :( Also, 4E1 and 4E6 won the CNY class decoration competition, so let me congratulate them. :) I personally think 5N1 and 4N1 did a really good job with the decors too, anyway. Well, the fight this year was pretty intense, huh?

It's just a pity 4E5 didn't put much effort in. As in, it wasn't a class thing. Instead, it was more of the CNY class decoration committee effort, around half the class didn't bring oranges to school, either. Oh well. I'd have helped out but I was busy with tests and shit, plus no one approached me so I thought I wasn't needed. So meh. :( But it's all over now so yup.

Spent my Friday evening with Krista, Sherlyn and Shermaine, my closest girl-friends! :) Headed to Plaza Singapura for some last-minute CNY shopping but I only got myself a pair of shoes despite the amount of money my dad gave me... *shrugs* I need more clothes, damn. :( Dinner at Pastamania was real fine, and pretty damn hilarious. Shit thing was, I was stoning half the time we were hanging out, due to the fact that I was drained of energy, plus I had thoughts boggling my mind. So yeah.

Been talking to many more people of late, and I realize I've been a teeny bit more sociable. 8) Like, I've been talking more to people whom I never talked to in the past. For example, I've talked to Randy more recently because he sits behind me in class, heh heh. And Jones, but we still don't talk much.. But I'm not all that affected by that, anyway.

I merely can't stand certain people I know. Like hello, we're at school and you're not a god-damning princess, for fuck's sake. No one cares how you're treated at home, and the definite thing is that we won't treat you like your family does. For one, I won't. So grow the hell up and deal with life already. =___=
(Oh the irony in this paragraph, because I'm still a child at heart who's almost just as immature and kiddish. Only difference? I know when not to be the spoiled bitch I am. Thanks.)

Alright, 'nuff said for the rant this week.
CNY, please be alright. I miss my relatives, why don't we ever go visiting? I wanna be close to my cousins like my friends are close to theirs, too. :( And, why don't they ever visit us? What kinda reunion and family gathering is this? You call this CNY? Lol. Anyways, I can't wait till 2013. :) I'll spend CNY running around with Jon... if we get that far, even. :')

For now, this and that is life.

813. Maybe.

2012-01-18T02:12:00.000+08:00

Apologies don't mean anything if you don't feel sorry. It's just gonna be a superficial word that everyone uses to gain forgiveness, even if they don't deserve it. But it's because the other party loves you... sometimes a tad too much.

Nights like these, I really wonder what I meant and really mean to you. I ponder really hard, thinking whether or not I actually mean to you as much as I think I do.

Maybe not, I don't know.
But I know I wanna keep you. And that's one thing I know for sure. Then again, I'm not sure if God planned for things to go this way.

Someone, anyone, please walk me through this seemingly endless dark tunnel. I feel so lost. And I'm tired of fighting my fears, I'm tired of walking alone in the dark. The little torch in my hand seems to be dimming with the passing of time, won't someone come along and save me? Because I long for that to happen. I wanna be loved. And taken care of...

812. Nothing-to-do-on-a-Sunday kind of post.

2012-01-15T14:40:00.004+08:00

It's a Sunday.
I have nothing to do. No. I have a lot of homework. I just don't feel like touching them. School's a pain in the ass. The fact that I'm Sec 4 doesn't help. Or does it? Can't wait till the O's are over. I already have plans on what I wanna do during the free time I have between the end of O's and my next level of education.

I'm beginning to start to get sick of life again. Just books and nothing else. I miss hanging out like back then... August to December 2011, seemingly the best times of my life, yet. Hang on. I don't have that much to say. I'm using a lot of full-stops in this post. Yes I am.

Alright. I. should. get. some. work. done.
Sigh. This cycle sucks.

I need to stop hanging around on Tumblr.
Dumbo is so cute. :')
Bye.
Omg this post is so random.

811. Extra nostalgic.

2012-01-14T18:02:00.005+08:00

Been awhile since I last posted, how's everybody? :) Well the second week has just ended, went for the parents' forum at school this morning with my dad, I'm half-motivated to study now. Or shall I say, irritated to study? They're stressing us out so badly and I'm really afraid to mess up.

Haven't been contacting Jon since recess on Thursday morning, he went for summer camp. :( Naturally I've been missing him.. But that aside, I've been left alone to think a lot these days. Not much, but more than usual. I haven't been talking to anyone lately. Talking, as in telling them all the little things that have been going on in my life. Perhaps just Kenneth and Xinyi. But I think I tell Kenneth more things than I do to Xinyi. There were my girl friends too, but... I don't know. :(

For example... I had a massive quarrel with my Dad on Monday night, which set me crying for about four hours straight. Felt like shit and all, definitely. It was pretty much over the B3 I scored for my Chinese O's. I kinda expected it, but I was just terribly upset that I was the minority..... Well, that feeling. Apparently, Sheena felt the same way I did. At least I know I wasn't alone that once. :')

I felt awful on Monday, and I'm sorry I cried in school. It wasn't about my B3, it didn't affect me that much, even though there were people who came and bastard me about it. But okay. I broke down because I was guilty -- guilty of bastarding Wilson, confident that he wouldn't do well, but he did worse than I thought... Sorry. :(
Called my brother to ask how he did, and he told me his results, asked me why I called.. Out of concern, actually. But he thought I called to laugh at him. Like hell, no. I was hoping he'd score a 15 or so... But nah.
------

Everything's clearing up now, though. :) I've been spending my days by myself, since no one needs me anyway.. But when I did need someone, Kenneth was there to be my listening ear. I can't be much more thankful for such a friend. :) Wilson was there for a day or two, too, even though this fucker stood me up for Mac Breakfast on Tuesday morning. Ugh I haven't satisfied my craving, it's been around since the holidays! Damn. :( So, Mac Breakfast someday, anyone? :)

Tuesday sucked a lot because I woke up with puffy eyes. Sigh... Spent Wednesday studying with Sean and Kenneth, did a lot of talking too. :) What a week it was. And the next ten months are gonna be really busy as well.. On a brighter note, my dad gave me $100 the night after we quarreled! Sadly, I spent $90 yesterday when I went to Bugis with my sister-in-law. :(

The even sadder fact? I only bought one sailor-looking Mango top for $50, and a pair of Havaianas for $40. Mega ouch, because I go for cheap and pretty stuff, not branded goods. If I went out with a girlfriend I could have bought so much more!! :( But oh well, it was all out of my dad's pocket, so I shouldn't be complaining, eh?
------

Nostalgia.

Had tuition after parents' forum just now, and I went everywhere feeling nostalgic, thinking about Jonathan, and how we always behaved together. I saw couples together on the bus, and I thought about how I'd always rest my head on his shoulder, and the seat that I was on was the exact one we always sat on.
I went to tuition, and I sat at my usual seat in the corner. I couldn't help but recall how I'd sit in class by myself every Saturday because he never attended class after his exams, but then he would come in to class within the last ten minutes and say hi to Mrs Kumar, then sit down, right there beside me. :') And we'd head elsewhere after that.
The route back to Toa Payoh on bus 73, I remember earlier days when we weren't together, he alighted outside St. Gabriel's Primary and we would wave to each other until the bus drove off.. :) And back at Toa Payoh, I recalled how we walked about together, shopping and bastarding each other as usual.

I remember us poking each other, annoying each other, but end up laughing it off anyway. Us holding hands, linking arms, skipping around like mega morons, and when people stared at us we'd tell each other, "Look what you did! Omg this is so embarrassing I don't know you, bye."
I remember us talking about and considering our relationship very seriously, then get all emotional sometimes. Yet on the contrary, I'd give him the dumbest reactions at times and we'd both end up laughing. :')

I remember our first phone call, it lasted for three hours, and he called because I was upset. He spoke to me with that protective tone, and I cried upon knowing that there was someone who actually cared so much although we were barely anything.
I remember the first time he hugged me -- it was also because I was upset and crying. It felt wrong, because I was in a relationship then. But I didn't push him away, I wonder why. He put his hand on my head and lowered my head, such that the tears that fell from my eyes landed on his left shoulder. It mattered to me because through his actions, he proved to me how much I was in his heart, even though we were barely anything.
I remember the first time we took a long bus ride together, he let me rest my head on his shoulder... even though we were barely anything. I constantly drifted in and out of my nap due to the jerky ride, and I remember feeling him holding my head steady so I wouldn't be affected by the bumps. And he always kissed me on my forehead, even though we were barely anything.

But then we were eventually something more than barely anything, we became good friends. I remember we always went out together. We met up for lunch after school, walked around Nex as 'good friends'. Occasionally we ran into familiar faces, and they were all like, "Hey wassup, that your girlfriend/ boyfriend?" :) And we'd answer no, without much hesitation. We'd go on study dates and tuition together, sometimes head out to the mall for a walk.
I'd go around looking for Domokun items, and if we saw a whole shelf of them, he'd allow me to stare at them for a minute or two.. Then when I snapped out of my daze and start to plan on buying something, he'd drag me away because he knows I have no use for any of the merchandise displayed. X)

And we became more than good friends, honeymoon period huh? It was something I suppose people would call a 'flirtationship', we weren't a couple, but we liked each other... a lot. At the beginning there were no feelings attached, he just wanted someone to be with and I just wanted a guy best friend I could hang out with. But then we grew closer, and kaboom. He was always there for me when I needed someone's shoulder to cry on, someone to pour all my troubles to. He always studied with me, so in a way he was a motivation, yet a distraction.
But I loved the way everything was. Eventually we fell... And we got together. People say, "You don't look for love, let love find you. That's why you fall in love, you don't jump into love." Ours ain't a perfect story, far from one, I'm pretty sure. We've done things we shouldn't have done at one point or another, ~~(I'm still a virgin, don't worry)~~ but that's a part of our story. :)

Our last movie together, was 'You Are The Apple Of My Eye', a really emotional show. It made me think about our future together. Or rather, whether or not we'd even have a future together. The uncertainties made me so unsure and insecure, I'm not even sure how I should put this.

Right now, though, I just really want my Jonathan back here. Back here in Singapore. Back here, right beside me. Back here, right where he should be. If he didn't leave for Perth we'd be studying together right now, working really hard and all. And we'd graduate together, we'd move on in life together. We'd do so much together, but we can't.

I'm sorry, I just miss him so much.
And I'm feeling terribly nostalgic today...

Anyway, here's a picture from Monday night, he constantly acted like an idiot to make me smile, and he succeeded. This, is another reason why I love him so. :') And yes, I know it's blurry. Deal with it.

810.

2012-01-10T20:19:00.001+08:00

Chinese O's results were released yesterday. I had a lot to rant and say, to be damn honest. Cried like crap at school not because I got a B3, but because I felt guilty for being a complete bitch to Wilson, and because my brother misunderstood my intentions... But alright.

And I'm mega sorry to the countless people I blew my top at. I just felt so fucking inferior and everything. Pissed and disappointed in myself. Well, things like that.

It sure didn't help when I came back home in the evening tearing for a bit and holding everything in, then getting lectured and shouted at by both my parents. Cried for hours and hours and woke up looking and feeling like a zombie today...

But still, thanks and sorry. To everyone. For everything.
I'm giving up. Have things your way. I mean, if that's what makes you happy I'm fine with it.

And I know who's true.
Keeping this short cos I'm blogging from my phone. ._.

809. You can't play our broken strings.

2012-01-07T17:25:00.003+08:00

James Morrison - Broken Strings (ft. Nelly Furtado)

"Oh, it tears me up.
I tried to hold on, but it hurts too much.
I tried to forgive, but it's not enough
To make it all okay.."

Been awhile since I shared songs here, huh...

808. One week down, nine to go.

2012-01-06T23:09:00.003+08:00

THIS.
Accurately describes how I've been feeling all day. >:) Well not exactly all day, but yeah. Each time a bell rang, this echoes in my mind... "OH GOD IT'S FINALLY OVER. And we're another bell closer towards the end of the week!" HEHE.

So anyway, yup, it's the end of the first week of being a Secondary 4 student, and I think I'm managing everything fairly alright... But it's just the first week so I can't quite say anything for sure. :( I think I'm such a failure, really. Miss the old me who was such a genius and never needed the internet except for gaming, and it wasn't even hardcore.. :( Yet I did pretty damn well in the past. And by that I mean primary school.

The release of O level results are on the coming Monday, so all the best to the candidates receiving their results. :) Sadly, the Sec 4E students have to go and witness this 'event' ._. But the Higher Chinese students will also have to receive their results for the O's. Myself included.

I have a pretty damn bad feeling about this though. :( I think I'm gonna bawl because I've always sucked at Chinese. Don't judge me, I may be Chinese but it's one of my worser subjects. :( All I can do now is hope pray wish for the best, no?
-----

That aside, my dad just fucking pissed me off big time, so I've kinda lost my mood to blog. I only have loads and loads of vulgarities to spew right now. But I shouldn't post it all here, huh? People do judge me anyway.

Oh go blame him for not having much to read today k bye.

807. Day one.

2012-01-03T18:09:00.004+08:00

Oh hello, my last 'first day of school' in Zhonghua was today and I surprisingly made it back home alive. :') Terribly unfortunately for myself, though, I haven't done about 85% of my homework which I kind of planned to but failed to (not-so-surprisingly). So I have a whole truckload of homework waiting for me to complete, yet here I am feeling as though I'm about to collapse any second.
Lol just kidding, I exaggerated.

Gonna go work on it after this blog post, and this page is gonna be so terribly dead and mundane once my hectic schedule kicks in, which is probably gonna be really soon. So yup, let me apologize first. :)
Thoughts in my mind today:

Oh wow what a crowd.

Man, can't believe I'm back already.

Man, can't believe I'm Sec 4 already.

Damn I'm gonna spend recess alone today.

They need more fans in this stupid hall.

Get the fuck outta my face you bitch...

OH GOD YES NO CHINESE TODAY.

Recess? How rare. Oh man, unfamiliar faces at the canteen...

I'm under Ms Nisha for History, YAY!

Seriously, is the lesson ending soon..? I'm really bored.

I wanna meet Jon for lunch. No wait, he's in Perth. :'( Wow I really miss him.

I think my hair is messy.

Dafuq is Facist Japan?!

Why's the weather so warm..... I wanna be in Perth.

Please no, I don't want Preetha to teach me English. I want Ms Wong. :(

Wtf why am I always getting mean teachers?!

Ok fuck my life.

Maaan, hole in the floor please open up and swallow me.

Teachers, y u no assign me to another teacher!

Just kill me I'm gonna fail Geography again.

Bell ringing in 3, 2, 1... YAY!

CCA after school, and only 4 outta 7 people left in the CCA showed up, which is pretty damn shitty. :( Headed to the gym room and did exercises, then ran around the third level for 40mins continuously with Beatrice and Peiyu, we probably covered 15 rounds or something, mad tired. It's a "fat-burner run", according to Mr Heng.

But apparently it's prolly not gonna help, because I went to Nex and drank Come Buy's Signature Chocolate. HAHA. So I gained back whatever fats I burnt, damn. :( Can't believe I'm gonna have to do this till PFT ends. Oh well, sucks to be me. And my toes hurt like crazy now. Q___Q

Ok bye I'm done complaining. Hehe.

806. Hello 2012.

2012-01-01T01:47:00.003+08:00

It's a brand new year, hello 2012. This kinda sounds like I'm welcoming the end of the world or something. Hell, no. :( My night was pretty much ruined by my nieces and nephew. Oh well. *shrugs* I missed the countdown party show too, screw Chinese homework, seriously.

I thought about Sec 4 life while I was talking to Jon earlier, and it was past midnight. I was in the middle of saying what I wanted to do, "Y' know what, next year I'm gonna try and....." And then I stopped short, because it hit me that it was already 2012. Senior year, no? Can't believe I've already spent three years in Zhonghua. Man, how did I even survive..? :/

Whatever it is, it's gonna be a tough year. Looking back at 2011 (still can't believe I'm saying this), I've grown a lot I suppose. And my one and only new year resolution, from what I remember? Try and be a happy girl. I half-achieved that, I suppose? At least I ended the year happy... Right? Except for the fact that Jon's in Perth. Everything would be pretty awesome if he were here, we'd study and sit for our O's together this year, graduate and move on together...

But now? Nah. I can only wait till he's back. :) I'm gonna be busy this year, so his pictures will be on my blog for a pretty damn long time to come. Guess that'll be my motivation to stay head-over-heels in love with him. Or something, I don't know. :x

New year resolutions, anyone? I doubt I'll stick to them though.
1. Stay happy.
2. Play hard, work harder.
3. Love, cherish, appreciate.

Not gonna set expectations for myself for O's because I'm scared I'll end up disappointing myself, which I think I will. But I need time, don't I? I'm just afraid I'm beginning to run out of time now..... So perhaps I shouldn't waste anymore. Or, well, try not to.

And to end off this post...
Edit:
THE ARCHIVES SECTION LOOKS SO... STRANGE. :'(

805. The last post of 2011.

2011-12-31T20:39:00.002+08:00

So the title says it all. It's gonna be a new year in 3hrs 21mins. Real quick, don't you think? :/ I'm really hungry. That was random, I just haven't had anything since brunch at 11am. :(

So this post will be about 2011. Obviously. Sure, I've been through a lot and I have a lot to say, but I guess I'm just gonna blog whatever comes to my mind. And this is prolly gonna be a post filled with emotions and all, gonna work on my blogskin after this. ;)

I started 2011 with a positive mindset, which slowly slipped and half of me became a pessimist. Went through a lot of drama, Valentine's Day was lovely though. :') I messed up a lot in terms of my academics, as usual. I didn't do my best in everything and maybe that's one of the regrets I'm gonna leave this year with. But 2012's just ahead of me, no? :)

The part that affected my life the most this year, even though it shouldn't, was pretty much issues with guys and all, y' know, relationships... So, uhm, my relationship with S ended in September (don't ask me why I'm typing this, I just feel like it k?) even though we starting drifting apart in July, when I got closer to Jon.. Perhaps the drama from my relationship was what messed me up, I don't know. But I know very well that the drama at school screwed up my life a lot. My relationship with S caused me to drift apart from many, and for that, I'm really sorry. :( Time wasted I guess, and I simply couldn't focus on my studies.

Eventually I became a really temperamental person and I slowly started hating myself. I don't remember mentioning this before, but there was a period of time when I was at my lowest, and every second awake seemed to be a struggle, no kidding. I suppose that was when I simply caged myself in my own little world and didn't talk to many about how I felt, except a couple of people.. And for those who were there, thank you. :')

I suppose that was when Jon came along and in a way, saved me from my little hellhole of self-despair and agony. I don't know if it was mere pity that drew him to me, but the way he described how he felt the first few times we talked, it seemed that way. And we got together in October. :) Almost 3 months with him. It's not long, but still.....

'Nuff about Jon, I think my readers are tired of him. :P I admit, I did really badly for my end-year exams. I got one A, one B, and six C's. Yup, I'm that lousy and all. Go ahead and judge me, ok can. ^^ But I wasn't last in class, pretty impossible, huh.. Spent my whole November with Jon and Jon alone, and he departed on the last day of November. I promised myself to start on revision and homework after that, but I guess I never got down to it because I felt so torn apart and all. Made use of December and bonded with my dearer girl friends. :) Really love 'em all! I know Sherlyn and Shermaine will see this! HELLO.
-----

And to end off, I spent my New Year's eve with Kenneth Teh. :) We planned to do work, but he showed up empty-handed without any homework on him, after making me wait for almost two whole hours. Naturally, our attempt to get work done failed terribly, so I'll have to stay up for the next two days and half-complete my work. And I'm not gonna touch my Combined Humanities homework, yay me? :/

We eventually spent late the afternoon talking till in the evening, caught up and all, even though I didn't know how to bring across everything that he missed out on since the last time we talked, and when I told him just about everything.. But that's alright, he'll always be my good friend and little brother. :)

So yup, Happy New Year's Eve to y' all! :) Please be happy people, and work hard for O's and all. ^^ Don't go into the toilet at 11:59pm and come out only next year. That was pretty lame, but I'm gonna go edit the look of my blog now, bye! :)

Oh, and, see y' all next year! :)
I actually mean 'later'. 8)

804. Fringed tanks and vanilla coke!

2011-12-30T23:50:00.001+08:00

Spent today with Sherlyn! :) I'll try to keep this post as short and as simple as I can. Hopefully I won't end up nagging and nagging like I always do. Hee. :) Also, I've pretty much completed my 10-day challenge lol, the posts are below this.

So yup, Sherlyn came over today with the intention of doing homework, but I showed her a tutorial I found on YouTube, demonstrating how to make a tank top and fringed top out of a T-shirt. We didn't have the mood to do work, so we took out an old top of mine and began snipping at it. HAHA. :) Had a great time laughing like we did back in Sec 1, really. Oh and the first shirt we did turned out like this...
I went to shower afterwards, while she did some work. But when I got back into my room after my shower, she got distracted. We continued talking and decided to head to Toa Payoh Central to get more tops to be cut into fringe tanks for her! :P So yup, she bought a tank and I bought food! YAY.

Came back home and started cutting up the tee almost immediately. I must say the second one turned out a lot better than the first one though, probably because of the material! :o Tip for making a fringed tank, if you're gonna do it, get a top that has a really thin and stretchy material. HEHE. Oh and here's the result of the second one, looks a lot better! :)
Ate home-cooked food, and I think my mum cooks the yummiest food. Because it's all so full of love. Hehe. ;) Caught 'A Song to Remember' on TV till 10pm, and then she went home. :) So I guess today wasn't too bad a day, huh? Except that I didn't get any work done, so I'm gonna try and get some work done tonight, hopefully! Not gonna allow myself to sleep much this time round.

Oh and we pretty much spent our day today talking a lot, surfing the net, drinking a can of Vanilla Coke that this sweetheart brought to my place, eating fish snack strips (the old-school one!), and cutting tees for her. Omg are we awesome or what?! :P

803. 10-day challenge. (3)

2011-12-30T22:56:00.003+08:00

Here's the last part for the 10-day challenge thingy, I kind of got lazy already, and I'm getting constant reminders from everyone around me that hey, "next year's just 2 days away!" So yup, thanks darlings. Especially Sherlyn, whom I've spent my day with today. :) I hope you're feeling a little better, love you. More about that in my next post (which'll be up later)!

So since I'm lazy, I'm skipping the 7th day down the list. (Refer to post 801!) It's 10 things I wanna say to 10 people. I don't think I wanna spend so much time typing and dedicating a post because I have a lot to say to everyone, so I'll just leave this all to my last day in Zhonghua... :) I think I'll wanna write letters or something. So, yay me? :)

8. Things you hope for in 2012.
To excel in my studies, at least do fairly alright in O's. I wanna do my best, and even though I'm typing this now, I'm pretty affirmative that chances are, I probably won't wanna bother about it. I hope I'll be able to stay close to my girl friends as possible, ensure that everything's the way they are now, maybe even better. ;)

I hope I'll start putting effort into every thing I do, rather then doing them all for the mere sake of it. I hope I'll start cherishing everyone around me more, I hope I'll keep the faith. I hope I'll be able to move on with life, yet keep the end in mind. The end that I wanna reach. It sounds like I'm trying to go kill myself, but nah. :)

Lastly, I wanna stay strong, stay optimistic. :) I hope I'll cry less than I did in 2011, apart from the tears on graduation day. Those tears? No, I won't hold back, I'll just let them fall because they're probably gonna show others how much they mean to me. I'm just guessin'. :)

9. What are you looking forward to in 2012?
One thing: THE END OF O LEVELS...
'Nuff said. The rest can wait... for now. :)

10. Anything you wish to say to end 2011/ start 2012?
THIS... Pretty much sums it all up. :) It's gonna be my new motto in life! TEEHEE.

I know this was done in a pretty slipshod manner, but pardon me. 2012's just slightly more than twenty-four hours (lol it kinda scares me to type the numerical values now.....) away so I guess I've to admit that I'm pretty damn mind-blown, yes? Not to mention, I'm gonna have Ms Tan Ghim Hua as one of my co-form teachers next year. Double mind-blow. Not that she's really all that bad..... (Oh God please prove me right!) Anyway, the first eleven months of year 2012 is gonna be pretty hectic, eh..?

Sigh.

802. 10-day challenge. (2)

2011-12-28T17:13:00.003+08:00

4. Something you've learnt this year.
I've been through so much this year I can kinda say I learnt a lot. :) I've learnt how to be more open to ideas. I've learnt how to give and take. I've learnt how to let go. I've learnt how being nice to people doesn't always mean they'll be equally nice to you. I've learnt so much at school. Lol.

I've learnt that having many people around me doesn't mean that I'm less lonely, sometimes I feel even more alone. I've learnt how to be alone, and that company isn't necessarily good. I've learnt that some people are to be cherished for life, while others don't deserve the way I treat them.

I've learnt to be more patient, I've learnt to love more. I've learnt to not expect to get in return the amount that I give. I've learnt that not every story ends like a fairytale. Chances are, mine won't have a happy ending too. Lastly, the end of every chapter marks the start to a new one.

5. Describe an adventure you had this year.
I had three consecutive days of adventures. :) I think I blogged in a lot of detail when I came back, so go read my 667th post and my 668th post. :) Post 667's about Camp Challenge Sentosa, post 668's about the 3E 2D1N camp. :) Pictures on Facebook too, let 'em do the talking. I've added hyperlinks so it's easier for my readers. :) Here: Album 1 and 2!

6. Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
- Stop doubting yourself.
- When you fall, no one will help you up. So you help yourself.
- When you think you love someone, give it your all, because when that someone is gone, chances are that he or she's never gonna come back a second time.
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade but don't drink it. Sell the lemonade and get yourself apple juice. And by that, I mean make the best of what you get in life, don't settle for something if you know you can do better than that.
- Lastly, when in doubt, go to sleep.
- Keep calm and stay cool. :)

801. 10-day challenge. (1)

2011-12-27T21:02:00.008+08:00

Came across this on Tumblr and on Jeraldine's Wordpress blog. :) Thought it's kinda cool and since I have nothing to blog about, lemme just try doing this for the next few days. :) Okie since it's just a couple of days left till 2012, I'll just do a few in a day. Oops.
2011 conclusion/ 2012 introduction challenge.
Day 1: What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
Day 2: How much have you changed overall in 2011?
Day 3: A person who has impacted your life in some way this year.
Day 4: Something you’ve learned this year.
Day 5: Describe an adventure you had this year.
Day 6: Any words of wisdom/advice for anyone?
Day 7: 10 things you want to say 10 people.
Day 8: Things you hope for in 2012.
Day 9: What are you looking forward to in 2012?
Day 10: Anything you wish to say to end 2011/start 2012?

1. What has been your most memorable moment in 2011?
There are so many memorable moments in 2011, I don't even know which I should name. :( But I guess it's more or less one of the days I was out with Jonathan! :) I think my readers are getting damn sick of his name on my blog all the time, but deal with it. And just to name one, maybe it's that moment when we first kissed.
Sudden, expected yet unexpected, quick, stuff like that. It was a brief moment, but I still remember everything about that moment. The sky was almost dark, and it was breezy. And that happened on the day that is most special to me in a year. Hehe. :)

2. How much have you changed overall in 2011?
A whole load. :) I can ~~not-so-confidently~~ say that I've become more mature compared to in the past. I know I've made stupid decisions and I know I'll probably continue making them. I'm a little more emotional, and I've learnt how to manage some of my feelings better. I've gotten a better hold on my life and I'm (still) trying to appreciate the people around me.
I've gotten close to people, I've distanced from some, not like I can help it, anyway. I think I've gained more haters because of some relationship issues and such at school. But whatever. Like before, I still can't handle my feelings all that well, I cry a lot more than before. But as 2012 comes, I'm trying to be strong.
And I know I'll be... somehow :)

I've changed a little in my religious beliefs! I know this is not all that significant, but still. I'm labelled a Buddhist, but I'm actually a free-thinker, just to highlight this fact. Ironically, due to my parents, I believe in Buddha, a little. And due to Jon, I believe in God. Truth is, I've always believed in their presence, but I never knew much about religion. Right now, I know more about Christianity. I'm still a free-thinker though. (Ahem, self-proclaimed.)

And most of all, (I really don't know if anyone has noticed this, but I think) I've been using vulgarities lesser towards the end of 2011!! :) Did anyone notice it? Huh? I don't know if this is actually true but personally, I think so. I used to be such an angsty bitch (I still am, lol) but I'm less of that now. I still use terms like 'bitch', 'asshole', 'fucker', 'shit', 'damn', 'fucktard', 'bastard' and such profanities very often, but it's a LOT lesser compared to in the past. I mean, look at my blog posts, they don't contain so many vulgarities anymore, either... :)

Overall... I think my mindset has a changed a lot. Like, right now I just wanna focus on studying, and loving everyone around me, my girl-friends in particular. :) So if y' all read this, please just know that you're amazing and I love you. :) Thanks for everything. Oh and I'm also not gonna even consider getting into another relationship until 2012's over. And no getting romantically involved with any guy in any way. I mean, if Jon and I go our separate ways by then. Which I rather not, actually. :)

3. A person who has impacted your life in some way this year.
I've met so many people this year who have impacted my life pretty greatly. Okie maybe not... I've gotten to know so many people in 3E5, and friends outside of school, too. :) But more importantly, I'm grateful for the people whom I've met earlier, and chose to remain in my life. But the ONE person I'm gonna mention in this post? Even an idiot would be able to guess the answer. :) Jonathan Hoong, my third and current boyfriend. :)
I can't say we've been through a lot together, but right now I just wanna keep him. Well, y' know. That kinda thing. :)

So we met at Clearminds, where we studied Math together. :) The first time I saw him? I didn't think much of it, I only thought, "Oh, we have a new student." And one day in June, I sat beside him at class because that was the only seat left. I remember carrying a whole load of stuff, and he helped me with the chair. I walked out of class that night thinking, "Hey that new Jonathan guy seems pretty nice."

The second time we talked was a Saturday, the second day of July. :) It remains so clear in my mind because it marked fourteen months with my second boyfriend, but things cropped up and we didn't meet up. Instead, it was this Jonathan guy who accompanied me to Compass Point for the NYBC event, but he didn't stay for long. Before I could thank him for his company, he was gone, but I remembered that, "This Jonathan guy is for real, pretty nice. I must thank him the next time I see him." :)

It wasn't my usual habit to think of talking to people automatically, but guess what? This one guy seems to be only one I've made an exception for... :) Cheesy it may be, but I'm really glad he became a part of my life after that. So we talked every time we met, and the way he asked for my number was phrased in such a casual way I didn't think much of it. And I remember we went on our first 'official' study date with Brendan and Ryan(?) @ Kovan's Mac on July 10th. The first time he put his arms around me. It was awkward and it felt wrong, but yeah.
(Thank my blog post that has so much memories in 'em...)

Took our first pictures together on the first Sunday of September, after a study trip with Brendan @ Hougang Mall. :) Damn, these days feel like they weren't so long ago... But it's actually been 3 months. Time flies. It's been almost a month since he left for Australia. I hope he comes back for me.. :')

This Jonathan guy, has been by my side since July. I know it isn't a long time, but I kind of found a best friend in him, right when I was trying so hard to find a best guy friend whom I could pour my heart out to. We kind of progressed from August, when my relationship with S went downhill, and when Jon and I got closer..
Our superficial friendship progressed to a level that was more than just hi-bye friends. Then came a special, inexplicable feeling when we were comfortable with each other to be labelled as 'good/close friends'. :) So we talked it out and such, and we slowly got to where we are now.

This Jonathan guy, whom I've known for a mere span of 6 months, though a year older, feels to me as if we've known each other for more than that. I'm proud to tell the world that he's my best friend. :) I can't say that he'll always be my best friend for life, I won't count on that. He departed for Perth, Australia a month ago on 30th November, and I must be honest, I was really crushed. I hated how time passed so quick, and there were so many things I had yet to do with this best friend.

But he'll be back in two years. And I know time will pass really quickly, as it did in 2010 and 2011, and he'll be back before we know it. :') Difficult it may be, but I'll do my best to remain strong, do what I ought to be doing, and commit myself to this relationship.
I love you, best friend. :) xx.

800. Merry Christmas! :)

2011-12-25T22:03:00.007+08:00

This is my 800th post, if anyone is blind enough to not be able to see my title at the top of this post. :) So let me highlight that for you, hehe.
To start off this post, Merry Christmas! :) Even though Christmas will probably be over by the time anyone sees this post, anyway. So, yup, happy birthday to our savior Jesus Christ. I'm a free-thinker so don't you say that I'm being holy-moly, I'm just trying to believe in something. :) Maybe I need some security.

Moving on, I harbored thoughts of doing a special post since it's Christmas, and also because it's the 800th post on my blog! :) But I figured, nah. Made the decision not to do a post that's too special after the night of Christmas Eve. A bit fail, I know. :x

Spent Christmas Eve out with my girls! :) Woke up mad early and met Hanlyn to head to pasar malam (yes, again) after Mac Breakfast, but she was late so our plans kinda crashed. :( So I reached tuition super late too! Started pouring while I was on the bus back, met Sherlyn and she came over though! :)

Headed to Somerset where we met up with Krista and Shermaine, sat at TGIF for a bit, then went over to Scape for a flea market after. :) I didn't buy much even though I was pretty determined to make myself a happy kid for Christmas! :( And since I didn't buy much, down the drain, went my idea of a Christmas special post. :( So I suppose you can all pretty much guess what my idea was.

Part of it was a vlog. Maybe I'll do it next Christmas. :)
Better still, spend my Christmas in Perth. Lol jk. We'll see. :)

Bought 2 rings for $4 each, welcome to my little ring collection my darling Mr. Mustache that I've been wanting since eons ago, and my new angel wing ring! Hehe. :)
Didn't buy muchhhhh so I was feeling damn tired and disappointed and upset and ultimate meh-ish. :( Oh and I think I started stoning when the sun set! Squeezed with people at the flea, perspired like crazy and all. Princess Krista was complaining non-stop. HAHA.

Oh and I bought 2 tank tops. The one with the lips cost me $5, and the black tree one cost me $10.
(LOL IDK WHAT'S WITH MY FACE!) I came home, took a look at them both, and realized they're the same size so I kinda wondered why one cost twice as much as the other. :O It's just that the colour's a little different. It didn't matter though, since I bought 2 for $15, 1 cost $7.50. Not bad. :D

Dined at Burger King even though I really, really didn't want fast food. ;~; But oh well, since it was three against one and I didn't feel like having anything in particular, anyway. I barely ate anything the entire day, my breakfast was a cup of coffee, my brunch was two chicken cheese hotdogs. Q___Q
-----

Spent Christmas at home, with my family. :) Germaine (my brother's girlfriend) came over and she gave me a present! Hehehe, so sweet of her please. It's something small and thin. Haven't opened it yet. :x I don't think she gave my other brother anything. I think she loves me. HAHA kidding, I think it might be something I need. Hmm.

My eldest brother came over, too, in the evening, and brought the kids over! :D Today was rather damn peaceful becase Charlyne was sleeping on the couch the whole evening, and Darrius never bothered to respond to me since forever. =___= ;; He's a sexist I swear. Omg what if he never grows to like females and becomes gay...........

Oh and Clarisse was spam-installing games on my iPhone and playing all of them so now I have new games, cute one and lame ones on my phone, lol. Since she spent the evening obsessing over it and drained about half the battery in my fully-charged iPhone, I didn't have pictures of them (because I was lazy to get my camera and feel like a noob because my brothers have DSLRs). :(

Spending Boxing Day with their family though! :) Damn I just made myself sound like a complete outsider. :( We're gonna head to Yishun's North Point to watch Alvin & The Chipmunks 3! Hee. :D Thinking about it, it has been eons since my brother and his wife brought myself and Desmond out, I remember when they always brought us out to play when we were younger... :( Anyway, tomorrow's pretty much the first outing I'm gonna have with my nieces and nephew! Actually I'm not sure if the younger two are tagging along, but yup.

Can't wait! ^^

799. Cold feet. (literally)

2011-12-23T23:11:00.003+08:00

Hi I'm back! Sorry for the lack of pictures and all, even though this is my 799th post! Wow I'm hitting 800 already. What shall I blog about in my 800th post? Huh? :/ Suggestions? Any? No I doubt it. Maybe I'll do a vlog. Lol jk I'll see. :)

Spent today with the KCS buncha dudes (Christopher, Dylan, Joohan, Junliang, Saykian, Weirong) instead of on Christmas itself! :) And as like the previous time, I was the only girl with a whole bunch of dudes. DON'T JUDGE ME! >:( Anyway, happy happy birthday to our darling Christopher who has grown a whole lot since primary school! :D

Apparently when I went out with these guys today, I felt so terribly small. Sigh. Once upon a time, I was at least half a head taller than them. Except Dylan. I don't remember EVER being taller than Dylan. No wonder I always had the impression that he was a meanie. :X

Met up with them @ 3pm or so, and of all days, it was pouring today. Like the skies were shedding tears of joy that Chrissy's a grown boy now. :') Shit, that was damn lame.......... Anyway, we went to UNO Beef House @ Toa Payoh Lorong 5. The umbrellas we all had proved to be pretty damn useless because by the time we reached our destination, we looked as if we went for a swim fully-dressed! :(

Shivered as we had our lunch, and complained how cold we all felt. I suppose Dylan suffered the worst though, he was wearing a dry-fit tee and he didn't have an umbrella, so he shared with Joohan... Who also chose to bastard Dylan when he felt like it. :) I didn't get too wet though. :D Thankfully I brought Jon's hoodie!

Oh and ALL of them bastard me when I accidentally told the auntie (in Chinese), "Iced Milo please. Cold one. Thank you." :( And I only said that because Joohan ordered Milo, then the auntie asked if he wanted it hot or cold. So I had the habit of ordering Iced Milo, and I just happened to say I wanted it cold because the auntie asked Joohan... Then they all laughed at me. :( So embarrassing please.
And Chrissy watched me eat, and described the experience was 'painful', as in, "OH MY GOD IT'S SO PAINFUL TO WATCH HER EAT!!" :( All because I was taking my time. Mean or mean? Hahaha but I love this bunch nevertheless! :)

Headed to Sky Garden for some wind later, which was a pretty retarded idea since we had to get under the rain again. Q___Q ;; When we finally got there, it was still raining, and the wind was so strong that Joohan's umbrella flipped inside-out... I think. HAHA. And I'm guessing they're all starting to fall ill since they were all almost completely wet by the time we got there, except myself and Saykian. :O

Stayed there till the rain stopped, and Joohan was (supposedly) dying of thirst and a painful sore throat so we (minus Saykian) headed to Toa Payoh Hub to get ourselves some drinksssss. :D Oh and then they all walked me home! Not specially, but it was on the way I guess. :)

Ahhhhh I love hanging out with all of 'em! :) Fun stuff, although they're always out to bastard me and stuff like that. But it's alright, because I'm always a victim, and the victim. But heyyy at least I always have company home when we go out, which is pretty damn awesome since there's no one who escorts me home, ever since Jon departed for Perth. :( Guess I'm gonna have to deal with things with a positive attitude. :D

So yup, thanks, you guys! For the funfun day out, as usual, and the company home! ^^ And happy birthday to our darling Chrissy. Hehe. I wonder when's the next time we're gonna hang out... Not soon, I suppose? Gonna miss them so much... :') Love y' all, hehe! BYE. :)

798.

2011-12-22T02:22:00.003+08:00

These couple of nights have been tough nights, my mind's been so strangely active. I wanna shut it down so badly. I wanna sleep. I really wanna. But those thoughts, they forever refuse to leave me alone.
Insomnia's being a total bitch recently, too...

Seems like the pieces of me are slowly being scattered everywhere as I move along in life, I slowly lose 'em and I'm never getting them back. And that sucks, because after every experience, I lose a bit more of myself, and at the end of the day, I don't seem to be myself anymore. That really, really sucks. When was the last time I was really myself? When was the last time I was really Elaine? I wonder.

Strange how I spend all my days missing someone who might not even be coming back to be by my side anymore. Strange how he was once a stranger, then a good friend, and... What if he becomes a mere memory? I don't want that to happen, ever. Right now, I kinda just wanna keep this one person.

I remember how I vowed to myself to not let distance affect us, but this slight lack of communication and interaction has created that barrier that's slowly thickening between us. Am I numb, or does it hurt to the extent my subconscious mind chooses to not feel anything anymore..? Because I really don't know the answer...

Is this all slipping out of my hands? Our hands? Maybe this was just another chapter God wrote in my story, maybe it's gonna end soon. Maybe we ain't meant to be. Maybe. But I rather not.

~~Is it killing you, like it's killing me?~~

797. Shifting eyes and vacancy.

2011-12-20T02:16:00.003+08:00

Note: This is a rather ranty post...

Tonight's another one of those nights, when I start to feel lonely and unhappy for no damn apparent reason at all. I guess it's just today, tonight. It's one of those days that I just wanna hold onto someone just to feel a little more secure, a little more loved, a little less insignificant.

Yeah, maybe it's nostalgia kicking in. Maybe it's the reminder from my mind that today's the 21st day without Jon. 3 weeks. Maybe I'll feel like this every week, I don't know, but I know I miss Jon, everything about him. Sometimes I feel sad, unhappy and all. Then there are times when I'm just... numb. Numb, as in, I don't feel anything. Sure, I know I miss Jon, but then there's no unhappiness. Zero, like literally. No tears, no longing. Just a simple "I really miss Jon.."

Tonight seems like a mixture of both. I don't even know what to feel anymore. For a while I'm numb, and the next moment I'm sobbing like a lost child. And then I feel like a piece of drift wood out at sea, aimless and just going wherever I'm taken. I really hate that stupid, sickening empty feeling.
-----

Skyped with Jon and he mentioned that his Aunt and Mom actually kind of advised him to break up with me, since he'd be away for 2 years, and chances are he'll actually find a new girl there at Perth.. And if he actually cheated on me he'd be a total jerk. :( But then he told me he refused to, and answered them, "No way. I love my Domo."

So I guess it's somewhat kinda apparent to me that he has faith in our relationship... But we're both considering what might happen, and preparing for the worsts, somewhat. He's a guy, so I'm worried that, well, the typical might happen. And on my part, we're both worried that someone might come along and move me along. I mean, I know my flaws. I know how easily I fall for someone new..........

Okie this all sucks, seriously. Don't know why I'm typing it all here, perhaps convincing myself that someone will actually read this and put themselves in my shoes, get to know how I'm feeling and stuff like that. Oh and in turn make myself feel better, lie to myself that people care when in reality, nah. They just want something to read. Lol.

So there you have it people. You entertained yet?
Sigh, bye.

796. #happykid96!

2011-12-18T02:55:00.007+08:00

Hello! It's almost 3am in the morning yet here I am, blogging! :D But it's only because I'm in a really, really good mood right now! ^~^ (Actually I blog whenever I feel like it, regardless of whether my mood is good or bad, but I'm here now because I'm really happy!)

Spent 2hrs of my Saturday at tuition, and I stupidly forgot to bring my phone out because my dad was rushing me, since he planned to fetch me to Serangoon Gardens. Careless of me? Yes, very. :( So I felt kinda lost and empty at tuition, but at least I finished my E.Math homework! :) Also, it was raining when I was on my way home, so I was stranded at Toa Payoh Interchange/ Central. :(

Since I couldn't walk home (neither could I be bothered to take a bus), I decided to take a walk alone by myself instead, and look for a new iPhone casing! :) So I had the afternoon by myself, with strangers around me and no phone to save me from any awkward situation I could have been caught in. So I made my way in the area, with a cup of bubble tea and my Domo folder in my hand. :P

I think I'm learning how to be alone. :)
Well, it's a start.

Didn't find anything eye-catching in the retail shops, and I was feeling a tad too awkward to walk in by myself (and without my phone), so I walked on, till I finished an entire stretch of shops. And then I realized there was a pasar malam outside the library/ McDonald's area!! :) I knew for sure I'd find iPhone cases being sold there, so I headed there... And memories came flooding back to me, when I was with Jon at a pasar malam opposite AMK Hub once. Wished so hard he was there, but nah..

I found a little booth sort of place in the middle of the pasar malam, and the man was selling custom-made acrylic keychains and all, y' know. I think it's the same guy who made my keychain back in 2009... But I didn't give it as intended. :P But this time around, he was making necklaces! :) Custom ones that I always wanted, but never had a chance to get mine made, because if I found any in retail shops, they'd usually cost $75, the lowest I heard of was $60 on some blog shop. :(

Decided to get my name made, and it probably took him less than 10mins because I was his only customer. :( I don't get why others don't approach him, y' know?! I mean it's so super cool and everything, I would totally head there if I were everyone else. :X Anyway, I got my name necklace for $15 and I'm super in love with it!! :)
Continued walking, and then I finally found what I was looking for -- an iPhone cover! :) I've been looking for a pretty one that matches the blue earpiece that Jon gave to me some time ago, I've been using it since then. :) And only my Domo cover matched it pretty well. ^^ It took me a lot of consideration before I decided on a new cover. :( There were so many (pretty) designs to choose from, yet I had to keep in mind that I needed it to look good with the earpiece.

I almost bought a case with an octopus on it! HAHA. Or some Cath Kidston one with floral prints on it, it was super pretty! :( And of course, I saw a lot of Kate Spade ones, pretty polka dots and all. But then I settled for a blue Cath Kidston case with white polka dots, the blue's between striking electric blue and baby, closer to electric blue though, and it matches Jon's earpiece perfectly. :)
I think it's lovely! :) It doesn't fit so perfectly well on my iPhone though, a little lopsided on the right side. But oh well, what more can I ask from a $5 good? At least I checked and didn't get the ones with a scratch line or a peel! 8)
At least I got shopping tips from Jon and my mum. Hehe. ;)

My last buy of the day was a super cute teddy tee from Peniwern or something.. :) I really love some of their trendy clothes! The first thing that caught my eye was a tee with laced single chest pocket, I have a soft spot for such tops. x_x But then I realized the shoulder area was net/mesh-like (I dunno how to describe it!) with a little lace or something. :( I thought I'd look like I'm trying to dress slutty by showing my flesh and all, so I didn't get it. It was $15 anyway.

Back to my teddy top! :) It's so super cute I almost decided instantly to get it. I know it looks funny and all, I stared at it real hard, but then fell in love with it the moment I saw it, so yup, I bought it at $10! :D
Showed it to Jon on Skype earlier and he bastard me by laughing really hard, and telling me that it looks a lot like what children would wear at hospitals! :( I kinda realized that too, which was why I was slightly hesitant to buy it.. BUT HEY IT'S SO CUTE. So I argued with him until he took back his words! :P Anddd I'm loving what I bought! :)

I'm ending off this post with a super happy note! Did you notice that I've had a super cheery tone throughout this post? :D And I realized that I haven't been this cheerful and genuinely happy ever since Jon left for Australia. But hey, a part of that Elaine is back, and hopefully she's here to stay. :) And it's not because of the buys today. Shopping only keeps me happy for a day. I know the day isn't over yet since I'm still awake, but something really made my day (or should I say, night)! :)

Lo & behold...
THIS!! :) See that the message I sent to Jon is in blue? Know what that means? YES, it was sent via iMessage, which is free for iOS 5 users. :) And YES, it means that Jon has an iPhone(4S) and we can now send messages for free via iMessage on our iPhones!! :DD

And yes, I've been smiling to myself every now and then, call me crazy and everything but I won't care. :D I'm just so super happy! :) Really don't know if this relationship will last, but who cares? I'm a happy girl tonight, I'm going to sleep with a smile on my face tonight.
THANK YOU, TECHNOLOGY. :)
Goodnight! ^~^
P.S.: I spent 36mins on such a long post! :)
Conclusion: Efficiency is increased when I'm in a good mood! :D

795. Buffalo wings and a happy Kenneth. :)

2011-12-16T16:52:00.010+08:00

Edited: Video at the bottom of post! :)

Hi! :) I'm back again. And I'm gonna post pictures yay! But they're not of myself of course... I think I hardly take pictures of myself when I go out. Yup I just realized. Hmm. Anyway, spent my entire day out yesterday!

Woke up early and headed to Nex to catch 'Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol' with Sean, Mingsheng, Zhuohan, Wenhao and Yicong. I only went because I thought Sheena was going. But when I met up with Mingsheng, the first thing I did was to ask where Sheena was, and he said she wasn't coming... So I was the only girl there in the group of six, and it was super awkward Q___Q

Sat around at KFC after, then bought Kenneth's cake from Bengawan Solo and headed down to Yio Chu Kang to meet everyone else. :) Bused to Shermaine's, lazed at the function room for a little bit before a few people left for the pit.
I was super bored so I went too, and was one of the early birds. :D Real glad that Frederic and Yi Cong actually took the initiative to set up the fire, heh.
(My Jonjon and his friends are better though... #justsaying! ^^)
I got bored so I took pictures...

And then the fire started and everyone started eating! :) Yup, myself included of course. The buffalo wings are tha bomb. Seriously. Nigel ate six in a row later in the night. (Y) The guys went pretty crazy and grabbed Kenneth and threw him into the jacuzzi. Well, a lot of others got wet too ._. I was one of the few who remained dry. I took videos too but they're gonna take eons to upload onto YouTube, so nah I'm not uploading all of 'em up there, maybe just Facebook.

I heard that a lot of residents complained about our bunch ._. Big big sorry to the residents at The Calrose! :( I think they're too used to the silence, lol. But seriously, it's a lovely place and it's super quiet at night! Anyway, more pictures. Since there's not much to elaborate on. Most of the bunch was running about the condominium bare-footed if I'm not wrong. Meh...
Went back to the function room with Erica, Nigel and Sheena, but then got told to leave that place not long after that, at 10pm. :( So we ended up having to clear up everyone else's items even though our intention of going there was to take a breather from the BBQ pit since we were so terribly bored and had nothing to do ._.

Back to Shermaine's unit after, celebrated Kenneth's birthday and all..
Then people started leaving. Played 5-10-15, and truth or dare with Yanyeng, Shermaine, Yongxin, Frederic, Nicolas and Junkai at a table at the jacuzzi area. Then the guys left except for Yongxin.. Continued talking, and then got told to return to the unit after. And then we got pretty restless and all... And omg in future when I head over to The Calrose I must stop myself from staying at the jacuzzi area. I think I'm so in love with it. :X Hee.
-----

K I'm lazy to blog today, really tired from yesterday. :( Also, I'm taking eons to upload everything because all the pictures and videos were taken using my camera. The images are sharper and have larger file sizes, stuff like that... Blah. In future I'm just not gonna upload directly from my camera..... I think. :x

Anyway, I think Shermaine's mum is pretty awesome. :) She's so nice and everything, helps out with the class gatherings and such! And even pays for it. I'd hug her to thank her but it'd be so awkward so nah. HAHA. I believe every mum is awesome in their own ways though! :) Like, my mum is awesome because she's always cooking nice food for me. No wonder I'm so fat~

I'm just gonna end my post here! 8) I have so much homework that I don't have a choice and have to do, but I'm always saying that I'll do them, but the truth is, I never do! :( I can't find that hardworking Elaine anymore, I think she's stuck in year 2008..... SIGH. :( Bye!
(The rest of the not-so-many-pictures here!)

Added: Chubby Bunny challenge, Shermaine vs Nigel! :)

794.

2011-12-14T23:45:00.002+08:00

Just in case anyone misses me... Which I ~~kinda~~ doubt. But yeah I just realized the previous three posts don't have a single picture in them, so here's me, since I don't have any pictures too post and I'm lazy to reblog stuff from Tumblr tonight. :( I look like an idiot with high forehead. Shuuush.

Spent my day with Shermaine and Sherlyn today, at The Calrose. :) It's a really lovely place to waste a day away, y' know? Heh. Bought stuff from AMK Hub first, then cabbed over. Oh and we met a super, ultra fucked up cab driver that locked the door because we wanted to take the cab behind his, but tried taking his ONLY because he was first in the queue at the taxi stand. Ugh. =___= Mother fucker, I swear. He locked the door on us and opened the window, snapped at us (in Mandrin), "Didn't you girls wanna take the cab behind mine?"

I mean seriously, what kind of fucked up attitude is that? THANK GOD we're Singaporeans, 'cause with shitty taxi drivers like these, foreigners could have a super crappy impression of Singapore. Maintain a bit please, can? -.- Besides, it's not like we don't already have a bad reputation for losers ~~like Steven Lim~~, kids with ill upbringing ~~like Adelyn Hosehbo~~ or 'gangsters' ~~like Aaron Tan~~ .___. I'm still kinda pissed about the taxi thing. Ugh. I mean like seriously, I still feel fucking annoyed lol.

And if I weren't wearing my pretty class tee with my big name printed on it I'd prolly spit on his face. DON'T JUDGE ME. I'm kidding, I won't do that. I'd at most hurl him a couple of vulgarities and comment on his fucked up service. And I mean it..... So much shit happening recently that I'm starting to feel shameful about being Singaporean. Pfft... -.-

Apart from that, the day went pretty well. Oh and we didn't do any homework at all..... HAHA. :) Just a short post for today, long day ahead tomorrow! I guess. And after tomorrow, it's back to square one... Goodnight. :)
imy.

793.

2011-12-13T23:49:00.000+08:00

I faked the date and timing again.
Finally got to meet up with the darlings after so long! ♥ Coming to think of it, the last time I saw them was in June. Oh and it felt like it was just a month ago or so... Gotta admit, time flies.

Anywaaays, I set six alarms last night so I could wake up today morning! I always set multiple alarms because I know I can never wake up on time... Add on the fact that my brother has given up on waking me up early because I always shoo him out of my room and go back to sleep (even though I DO actually ask him to wake me up) ._.

Met up with Joohan and Dylan @ 1.45pm, 30mins later than the timing we initially stated, because Joohan overslept, and had no idea about the exact location of where we were supposed to meet up... *fakes a sigh here* And I was 'early' despite the fact that I purposely left my house late, the guys reached 15mins after I did... *inserts another sigh here*

Bused over to Christopher's place, and he was barely awake. Pretty much like a child that got dragged outta bed for school, y' know, grumpy and all? :) Had a second serving of lunch at Chrissy's (don't mind me, I like typing 'Chrissy' more than 'Christopher' or 'Chris') :x Our plan today was actually to get some homework done, but apparently I was the only one who was doing any work at all today ._.

Both Joohan and Dylan brought work, too, but hardly attempted questions. I was the only one there who was hard at work. *proud of self* :D But I kinda had a lot of questions that I didn't know how to do, and ended up bugging Joohan and Dylan to help me with the sums. :B Yay us!

The entire day was spent at Chrissy's, the guys playing games on his bigass screen and blasting songs through his speakers. Unfortunately, for Chrissy and myself, Joohan and Dylan probably didn't fancy 95% of the songs Chrissy had on his computer, so they kept skipping songs. *sigh* There were Taylor Swift songs and they skipped it all even though it's her birthday. Damn. :( So we probably only listened to less than ten full-length songs today. ._.

Left Chrissy's at a quarter past ten or so, had dinner (I kept saying 'supper' but Joohan insisted it was dinner, so okie) with Joohan and Dylan at Toa Payoh Lorong 5. :) I wanted to have fried oyster omelette but figured it was a tad to oily to handle at 11pm... :( Oh and, they walked me to my block after dinner. ^^ And I think it's really sweet of them because they did so automatically, without anyone requesting them to do so or anything. Plus, it's not like they're obliged to make sure I get home safely.. So yup, thanks dudes! :)
-----

Really love this buncha (ex-)KCS peeps 'cause it somewhat feels like they're all that I have left of my childhood, y' know? We were never exactly all that close, and it kinda gets awkward when we meet up once in a very long while, but it doesn't stay that way for long! :) I've never been in the same class with Dylan, and I remember I didn't have a very good impression of him in the past because I thought he looked like a bully... HAHA. Okie it's really funny to be thinking back about Primary school days now. :')

For Chrissy, we spent our last year of Primary school in the same class, 6.5! :) Weren't really close either, but I remember I always disturbed him because he was so puny, and so much shorter than myself... But Chrissy has grown so much. He's my height now. Damn. HAHA. :x
Spent 2 years in the same class as Joohan, though, and I remember how he and a few other jokers were forever the ones cracking the dirty jokes during Science lessons... And how we always picked on each other in class. I think I secretly hated him each time he made me look like an idiot!! But really, those were the days. ♥

Can't wait to spend Christmas with them, I think. :) And a few others. Hehehe. See y' all soon, lovelies. ^~^ Even though they prolly won't read this except maaaybe Joohan. But yeah. BYE. :>
P.S.: Happy birthday Taylor Swift! ♥

792.

2011-12-12T23:50:00.002+08:00

I keep having strange dreams lately and I don't know why. Sometimes it feels so real, yet sometimes it pretty much seems like I'm a wandering, lost soul, aimlessly drifting around and watching people as they lead their lives.. But hey, I'm not a stalker. It just happened that my dream was that way.

And today, I dreamed that my dad bought a new car, and he took me 'round town for a ride. It was really cool, a pretty white car. I don't know what's the best way to describe it, but yeah.. It was a white car, the engines weren't loud and shit like that, the way gangsters like it. It was of a reasonable volume. Just the way I liked it. :)

Also, I dreamed that I met H.. (Not disclosing her identity. Yes, it's a her.) Perhaps it's because I feel like a complete misfit this year, that I don't fit in any way anywhere and stuff like that, so I dreamed that I actually met someone new. You know, a new best friend. Stuff like that. We did everything best friends did -- have heart-to-heart talks, sleepovers, shopping trips, gossip sessions.. No, correction. We seemed more like sisters.
But it was a mere dream.

Tuition went fine today, and yes, I'm just blogging for the sake of it, and to record my dreams. Somehow. Yeah I know it's strange, but don't forget you're on my page. :) Anyways, pretty much had a one-to-one lesson with Mrs Kumar, except Yvonne was sitting opposite me, to Mrs Kumar's right side. Mrs Kumar was mostly teaching me though. Oops. :x

It's been two and a half years since I've joined Clearminds and have Mrs Kumar teach me Mathematics, and I think she really is a lovely lady. :) Aside from her slightly bitchy side at times (honestly), she has a pretty amiable character. Or perhaps it's just me who thinks that way, since there are times when she treats me exceptionally nicely. Hmm... But I really must thank her for pulling my D7 in mid-2009 to an A1 at the end of the year, and keeping it there. Not boasting, but yeah. :) I'm gonna miss her when I move on.

Also... Mrs Kumar's constant reminders to stay diligent and stuff like that kinda inspires me to be a good girl. I know how awkward and sappy it sounds since she gets really random at times and starts yabbering crap (not like my readers know Mrs Kumar anyway), but I think it's cool. :) She occasionally asks me about how Jon is doing in Perth, and whether I miss him.. Well, stuff like that. I guess it all serves as a reminder that I should keep Jon in my heart, while at the same time focusing on my studies, and working hard towards a better future. :) And I won't forget how she told Yvonne I'm a strong girl earlier today. Yup, gonna remain strong. :)

Skyped with Jon earlier, and we didn't quite talk so much about how we felt, just the usual updating each other on our lives. Don't wanna drift from this darling now. I constantly ask myself, "What if we don't make it through the two years?" And I never really found an answer, so I guess I'll just leave it at that for now. Stay thankful, and cherish what I have with him right now, I suppose.

I'm not much of a 'holy-moly' person, but God bless Australia. And the rest of the world, too. :) For some reason, I do feel a bit more assured tonight, after that talk about Christianity talk with Jon, and that prayer. :) So yup, take care, and thanks for reading.
P.S.: The timing for this post is faked.
P.P.S.: I'm finally meeting the kids ~~later~~ tomorrow! :)
P.P.P.S.: Happy ~~belated~~ 15th Birthday to Xiuwei! :)

791. Dear blog,

2011-12-11T16:49:00.004+08:00

Today, I woke up with a strange pain in my chest. I lay still, right there in my bed without a movement, as I tried so hard to gather my thoughts. All those images that I had saw just moments ago -- Were they real..?

I tried clearing my head, but it hurt so bad. Images continued flashing through the darkness as I let my eyes remain shut. Images of those children I once knew. Images of that dark, dark island resort. Everyone had a place, everyone except me. I felt so alone and lost.. I walked around with my big bag as everyone was busying themselves with their own activities. Frankly, I didn't know what was going on, either. But I wandered around, and everything suddenly turned into a white space.
And finally, the image that hurt the most...

I watched as He turned, waved at me and slowly walk away. I don't know why, but I didn't give chase. Maybe I wasn't allowed to. My legs buckled, I sat there, sobbing, rubbing away at my eyes, in hope that those streaming tears would just stop. When I was done, I realized how alone I was. Everyone walked their own ways, and it was as if I just wasn't there. Gradually, it all faded away. The people, the background...
Everything.

It all felt so real, and so sudden. It felt as if I just lost everything within an instant, and that really choked me. That suffocating feeling's still lingering in my chest, I don't know what's wrong. It feels as if... a part of me just got taken away.....

790. But this love is Ours.

2011-12-10T01:14:00.003+08:00

Taylor Swift - Ours

"Seems like there's always someone who disapproves,
they'll judge it like they know about me & you."

"Life makes love look hard...
The stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours."

"I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you."

Have been repeating this song over and over for the past 3 or 4 days.. :) Loving Taylor Swift to no ends, she's fantastic. And the lyrics? Yup, accurate.
I'm pretty motivated to hang on to my relationship with Jon now. Especially after what went on during our Skype video call earlier... I feel like tearing all over again. I survived three days without tearing, and he broke that wall. :(

That aside, this song's pretty damn awesome. :)

789.

2011-12-09T01:21:00.004+08:00

I'm so bored at home. And I'm having my period so I'm cooping myself indoors till say, Sunday. Or hopefully only till Saturday, I don't know. (I'm comfortable typing this only because there aren't tags on my blog, so I'm trying to convince myself no one's reading this, didn't actually check the stats though. HAHA.)
I kinda wanna head out on Sunday, y' know. With the kids who were from KCS back then.. Actually it's just Christopher and Joohan, since I get to contact them on Twitter. ALL HAIL TWITTER (Y). For everyone else, I pretty much don't contact them anymore. :( Sigh I miss hanging out.....

Anyway, I guess life's pretty damn mundane right now and I'm blogging just for the sake of it. :( I'm bored of clicking on the links from my blog because really, no one blogs much anymore, ugh. Or rather, I seem to be the only one who blogs a lot these days. Or is it just me, huh. This is so annoying ._. K I'm gonna be a little random in this post.

Did I mention that my brother got me a new camera for an early Christmas present? :) It isn't a great camera I guess, but it's just fine. He said the reviews for the Samsumg ES80 are good, but most digital cameras are actually the same to me, lol. They don't really amaze me, but yeah... It was on sale and costed him like, $88? I don't know. But yeah. :) Don't mind my face! :x (I took this when I was playing with it after drying my hair, hehhh.) And I was facing an iPhone not a mirror. :)

And I super duper miss Jonjon!! :(
But it's a good thing I'm slowly coping with his absence. :) Did I already mention that? I don't know... But yeah. We've been talking on Skype every night, and he still talks to me as usual. I feel so apart from him though. Sigh. :( There's still a few glimmers of hope we'll pull through these two years, though... Am I right? :) Thinking positive, if we DO manage to maintain a long-distance relationship, we'll be even stronger and closer than before. Like I mentioned before, what doesn't break us will make us stronger. So yup! :) I still really miss him though! :(

On Skype earlier...
Me: I hate cramps omg I hate having my period omg I really hate being a girl sometimes.
Jon: Eh got pros and cons one okie... Every time I walk into a store and happen to see females' clothes, I'll be thinking like, "Oh that's pretty." And it'd occur to me how guys can't have a variety of clothes to choose from, it's so boring to be a guy =___= Girls can look pretty!
Me: Yeah but not if you're born ugly... *covers face* Hi.
Jon: You, ugly? No you're not ugly. You're beautiful. And I love you.
Me: Awww melt melt melt! :')

I'm really thankful for Jonjon. :D

788.

2011-12-07T17:56:00.006+08:00

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
THIS!
True story. Forever applies.

787.

2011-12-07T16:16:00.006+08:00

Short, quick post before I go attempt to get a bit of work done! :) Spent my Tuesday out with Angel, Xinyi and Yolanda yesterday shopping and having fun. Met them after lunch at Nex (because I woke up late, as usual), and they were having lunch at MOF, and we spazzed over some cute waiter dude there! Heheh. :P

Headed to 313 @ Somerset after so they could look at bags, and head over to HMV... 313 brought back memories with Jon, too ._. So yup, I always feel nostalgic at familiar places, or places that I hardly go to, but have been there with Jon at least once or twice. Uniqlo in particular, made me wish so hard that Jon was right there by my side. But I guess that was just, super unrealistic.. :(

Messed around in F21, where we picked out awful-looking clothes for each other to try on. HAHA. Okie, so Xinyi and Angel were the main two trying on the awful clothes, I refused to, because it was mad embarrassing :x Also, I was thinking about the times with Jon. And how much more fun and better everything would seem if it was him I was with instead.. :)

Our last stop for the day was Far East Plaza. I didn't buy any clothes! :( And that kinda felt crappy because for once, I had money to spend on clothes, but ironically couldn't find any that I fancied an awful lot. Meh. There was a small shop at Far East Plaza, however, that Xinyi bought a small bag at, since the shopkeeper gave her a price cut from $29.90 to $20!

She gave me a discount too... And I bought a pistol ring, which I previously saw at Talisman's for $10, and was forever hesitant to buy it! But I'm into pistol accessories lately. Maybe because I miss the Shooting club :) I even have pistol ear studs, which I bought from Watts Jr @ Far East Plaza the previous time I went with Shermaine :P Anyway, the ring was selling at $8.90, but I managed to get it at $5! ^~^ #happykid96
So yup, that was my Tuesday. Also, I'm proud to say that I spent a day without selfish and fucked-up thoughts occupying my mind, maybe I didn't have the time to, anyway. And it's the first day I got by fine after Jon's departure, as in not crying just 'cause I miss him. So yay me? :)

Gonna try spending the rest of my Wednesday getting some stuff done and sorted out! Only about three weeks left till I'm Sec 4... Time flies, huh? Can't wait for December 2013! I'm forever harping on this :P Heh. Also, I slept at 6.30am this morning and woke up at 3.30pm. HAHA. So much time wasted, I swear.

K time to get some stuff done..... Hopefully.
Homework dates, anyone? :) I'm a tweet/ text/ phone call away.

786. Yeah, it's alright.

2011-12-06T03:47:00.005+08:00

Hot Chelle Rae - Tonight, Tonight
"It's you & me and we're runnin' this town,
And it's me & you and we're shakin' the ground.
And ain't nobody gonna tell us to go,
'cos this is our show."

"I don't know if I'll make it, but watch how good I'll fake it."

Hooked onto this song tonight, tonight. ~~#punny~~
Heh, and did I mention I kinda fell in love with Hot Chelle Rae? It's similar to the type of love that Directioners feel for One Direction, or how countless fanboys and fangirls feel for the various KPop groups. Can't believe I brought 'em all up, lol. But I'm not interested in them actually, maybe it's because of the fact they seem so overrated, so I'm not fangirling over them even if I think they're good.

But hey, the dudes in Hot Chelle Rae are pretty damn hot, in my opinion. No hate comments towards them on my blog thanks. Call me superficial, but I really think they're kinda hot. Um, especially Ryan.
Ok fine I like Caucasians...

PROBLEM? :)

785. Two.

2011-12-05T02:12:00.010+08:00

This post is pretty much all about Jon. Dump any of your anonymous hater comments onto my Formspring, thanks. And you don't have to read this if you're not interested or whatever, I just needed a space to type all this.
xx

Can't believe I'm giving this post a negative start, but I Skyped with Jon earlier and I can't get over the fact that he told me he'll have to go back to Australia after he's done serving NS here in Singapore, to complete his university course there. And the duration of the courses are between 3 to 6 years long. First I had to deal with the pain of him leaving (and I'm not even done getting over it), then now I have to handle this truth..

Very often (on a daily basis after his departure, as a matter of fact), I miss him so much that I'd cry upon constant reminders from my mind that I won't be able to hold him in my arms anytime within the next two years, or that I might even lose him. Chances are, I probably would, sooner or later. But who knows? I just don't wanna lose him right now. And there are also times when I hate these facts of life so much that I'd just think, "Why the fuck did you even become a part of my life, Jonathan? And why such a big part? Why the fuck, really..."

I'd ask myself that every now and then, but seconds later, these resentful thoughts slowly but eventually fade away, as the very vague answer surfaces -- that everything happens for a reason.. But I guess I'll never quite get a definite answer for why he became a part of my life, and got taken away. Maybe Fate arranged this separation for the better, or maybe because we aren't really destined to be together. I don't know...

And I have fucked up thoughts every now and then, I must admit. It's always the inner bitch of me acting up. Sometimes I get so tired of her, I just think of ways and means to make her shut up, or even kill her. You know, that feeling? I mean, it just kinda hurts, yet at times, she's the reason why I'm strong. Somewhat.
-----

On a lighter note though, it's the 5th day of December already, so happy 2 months with Jon I guess :) Even though he's far far away in Australia, and we won't get to celebrate our monthsaries together until he's back. In December 2013, we'll be celebrating our 26th monthsary. So I guess we'll have to make up for lost time, and celebrate 2 anniversaries, provided we even get that far, which I half-doubt, to be honest.

What can I say now? I don't think I wanna type a whole chunk of cheesy stuff here, since he doesn't read this blog of mine anyway. Or does he? No, I doubt it. But all I'm pretty sure right now is that, I really want someone to be by my side. It's just the kid in me acting up. After all, I've never been very much alone in my life. Maybe it's time to grow up and deal with things.

Well it was kinda weird typing that, because I know I'll never grow up. :)

And Jonjon, someday if you see this, I kinda want you to know that I fucking love you. It was just kinda weird to put it that way, but I guess that's just my way of expressing it. I don't wanna fuck you, no, I don't wanna. What I meant was more of like, "Hey, I kinda just wanna spend all my Sundays cuddling with you in bed, enjoying good old movies and each other's company. No sex, no messin' around. Just you, me, the rain outside and some popcorn. Or maybe some good old hot chocolate."
-----

I guess this is what people call 'puppy love'. But the people who are "too mature and sensible for puppy love" probably never knew how to love. And they won't know the feeling of being in love, so they'll probably fall and get hurt twice as hard when they get ditched in future. Not saying they'll all get ditched, but maybe. Just maybe. It does hurt when relationships go awry, but what harm can a little experience bring you, right?

"What doesn't break you, makes you stronger."
I think I'm gonna remember this for a long time to come. I've survived two relationships that didn't kill me, but I guess they made me wiser, in a way.

I've learnt that I shouldn't trust a guy too quickly. I've learnt that I shouldn't rush into a relationship for the sake of getting into one. I've learnt that I should know a person well enough before I get together with him. I've learnt that people who have had many relationships that didn't last very long in the past probably won't make good boyfriends. I've learnt that guys are sometimes as weak as girls, they just don't show it. I also realized that I don't want my boyfriend to do things for me, if it means sacrificing himself, or anything that benefits him. I don't know how to put this, lol.

I've learnt that people who deserve a second chance may not deserve a third, and that if I've given him a third, I should never have given him a fourth. I've learnt that if my boyfriend breaks his promises, I shouldn't have given him many more chances. I was fucking foolish to have done so. I've learnt that being less-harsh a girlfriend doesn't always mean that He'll become a better boyfriend. I've learnt that hiding my own jealousy isn't always the best policy. I've learnt that if my boyfriend talks to his ex and the communication's mutual, the whole relationship is probably gonna go downhill if neither party tries fixing it. I've learnt that if the world was against the relationship in the first place, I should never have dived head-down into it.

I've learnt, that fairy tales will forever remain fairy tales, and that nothing in life will actually go the way we want them to. For everything you lose, you get something back of equal value. Likewise, for everything you gain, you lose something. The saying goes, "You don't know what you have till it's gone." Nah, not true. People always knew what they had, it's just that they never anticipated the loss of it.

I guess I anticipated my loss, but... It still kinda hurts.
I wonder how I typed the post to be this long anyway. Not saying I have a lot of experiences or I'm a know-it-all, but it's just that I get carried away sometimes, when I try to express myself in words into a blog post. Sigh. I always intend to type a couple of paragraphs, but it usually ends up as a whole essay.

Lol bye, your eyes must be tired after reading all that gibberish.

784.

2011-12-03T17:47:00.002+08:00

Days without Jonjon have been (evidently) extremely boring, sigh :( I bet people who read my blog are like, rolling their eyes and thinking, "Jonjon here, Jonjon there, ain't there anything else to blog about??" And I can answer that now, actually. There ain't much to blog about without Jonjon around. Yeah, I kinda wonder why too. But oh well.

Spent my day with Shermaine yesterday, been awhile since I caught up with her :) Caught Happy Feet 2 at Bishan and we failed multiple times, damn. And I brought home a penguin plush toy that came with the Happy Combo we bought, yay! :D Decided to head to Far East Plaza after for a walk, and we bought 4 pairs of ear studs each! Shermaine also bought a connector ring and clips from Talisman's, and I bought myself a white knitted top for $15... Hehe! :D

Well, I think no matter where I head, I'd think about the times I spent at that particular place with Jon. At Orchard, we walked the route that Jon walked with me. At the mall, there were shoes that I contemplated buying, and the pair that Jon bought when we were there on Monday... Even at Junction 8, I'd remember me with him. Seriously, every place I head, there are memories with Jon.

And there's a whole load of them in Toa Payoh, when I'm walking home from the MRT. Through the interchange, by the rows of shops. Even Pet Lovers' Centre, and the furniture shop, where the fan outside would always mess up my hair. And that bus-stop and road that I'd cross even when the red man is lighted, I'd remember how Jon would hold me back because he thought I was about to cross the road when a car was coming my way...

Ahhhhh I'm feeling so nostalgic now. :'(

783.

2011-12-01T03:03:00.003+08:00

Here I am once more, with my monthly hello and goodbye post. It's the last month of 2011, how quick. So hello December, and goodbye November. Please be awesome, although my December started off teary and stuff... December 2013, please come soon. I really wanna have Jonjon by my side again :'( Anyway, quick summary, as usual...
November:
1. First monthsary with Jon.
2. Chemistry and Physics O Level SPA Exam.
3. Flea @ *Scape with Sherlyn baby and Jon.
4. Chinese O's.
5. 11/11: Met Jon's Aunt, caught Adventures of Tintin.
6. Baking session at Jon's 大姑's place.
7. Jon's farewell chalet.
8. Caught Puss in Boots with Jon.
9. Random day out with Jon.
10. Caught 《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》 with Jon.
11. Attended church, and Singout`11 with Jon.
12. 3E5 class chalet @ NSRCC Changi + Jon's departure.

And yup, as you can see, I pretty much spent all of my November with Jon, right before he left and such... I'm gonna miss him so badly, seriously. The drops of tears still trickle down my round and rosy cheeks every now and then, but I remember our words towards each other. And yes baby, I'll try to be strong. 2 years is a long time, but I'll wait. :)
December:
1. Movie outings.
2. Many homework sessions.
3. Expect a lot of catching up with people and studies.
4. Christmas. Which doesn't really matter me anyway..
5. Countdown to 2012.

For some reason, the fact that the year 2012's just a month away makes me really uneasy and everything, even though I don't believe in the end of the world. Sure, global temperatures are rising and shit like that, but I don't think the world's ending yet. Mother Nature's prolly gonna torture us a whole lot more first..
Besides, I'd like to see technology go wild.

Anyway, I know December's gonna be a tough month for me. I have so much to do, but I don't regret spending almost half my November with Jon, and on Jon.. :) Really hope he'll come back for a vacation sometime, even though it's so super unlikely. Maybe I should go over for a holiday, but what are the chances, really? Just gotta pray hard I guess. Perhaps I'll wanna go over with a group of friends, who knows, eh?

I'm gonna have to spend my December buried in books, and catching up with my favorite girlfriends. If you all see this, free a day and ask me out, alright? :) I'm thinking of asking a whole bunch of people out for Christmas. Maybe, just maybe. Or, then again, I could be busy rushing all my homework, like I always do, last-minute anyway..

Well, we'll see. But for now it's time to get busy.
And December, please. Be good to me. :')

782. So this is it.

2011-11-30T23:59:00.000+08:00

Hey. I'm gonna cheat for the timing and date for this post... :) And I really miss Jonathan a whole shit load already. Sigh. Life's still gonna go on though, right?

Met the class committee at Serangoon Central's Mac and passed them the class funds, then Jonathan joined us :) Headed to Orchard after, and met up with Mrs Kumar. We had English food for lunch at The House Of Robert Timms, which catered Australian food, even crocodile meat and kangaroo meat. Jon ate kangaroo meat! :O Well, I must thank Mrs Kumar for the meal which really costed a bomb, to both myself and Jon ._. But I guess to Mrs Kumar it was a mere sum meant for lunch. She said that she often met up with her girl friends there for tea and all, just to chillax... Rich people, damn~

Headed to Far East Plaza afterwards, where we spent the rest of our afternoon just walking around, with me looking for stuff to buy, and chilling around :) Jon bought a pair of shoes, and I bought a pair of high-waist shorts and a few belts! It was our last little shopping trip before he left for Australia.. I'm gonna really miss shopping with him... :(
I look like shit here HAHAHA. Don't know why I did that face! But I think my Jonjon looks okay. So tadah :) Headed to Clearminds at night before I headed home, and got Mrs Kumar and Mr Sukh to write in the book I planned to give to Jon :)

29th was 3E5's class chalet, it was pretty damn fun I guess :) Met Jonathan at Simei first to get aluminium trays for the BBQ, then MRT'd to Tanah Merah and cabbed over to NSRCC Changi to look for the rest of the people :) I let them meet Jonathan and vice-versa :) Checked our bungalow out, upstairs and downstairs, then went out of it with Jon to a swing in the area, facing the sea.

We sat there for a little while, talking about things. A couple of planes flew overhead, and inevitably, thoughts of his departure came into my mind, that he'd be on the plane soon, too.. I started tearing, then cried real hard. And again, he comforted me. Jon, you promised you'd be back for me, and I promise I'll be waiting :')

Headed back to chalet after, had Jon grab his stuff, then walked him to the entrance of NSRCC where he very fortunately saw a cab~ Took our last picture together, and I made him take solo pictures so he'd be the wallpaper on my phone :) I look like crap here because I cried... and that pimple is horrendous.
So then Jon left, so I was walking back by myself... Tears welled up instantaneously, I couldn't help it, sigh. But when I was back in the bungalow I didn't allow them to fall, didn't allow them to tell everyone how broken I felt :(

BBQ'd after, and there I was just doing all the cleaning-up and tidying around in the bungalow. I guess I mingled a lot during the chalet.. There were gamblers, the sleepers, the eaters, too. About 15 people left the chalet halfway to catch Breaking Dawn at T1, which I think is rather silly since they paid $20 or so for the chalet =___= ;;

Washed up at night, had bonding time through card games, singing to songs on MTV channel, and some small talk here and there.. :) I didn't sleep a wink the whole night. Left the chalet to sit alone outside at the pit by myself a couple of times, breathed in the smells of the night as I thought about how tough it'd be without Jon by my side for the next two years.. :( Sat alone outside for almost an hour at 3am or so, cried like crap, then went back into the chalet because they were switching off some of the lights, I was afraid they'd lock me out. Tsk.

But it turns out that there were people who didn't sleep at all, like myself. The gambling group at the mahjong table, which included Xinyi, Clarissa, Xuanli, Ron, Yongxin and some more I guess? Almost broke down when Xinyi asked, "Are you okay..? Your eyes look really puffy." and stared right into my eyes. But thank god. Thank god I turned away and suppressed all the unhappiness.

Clare and Jocelyn slept on the sofa, while Randy slept on the floor. I was being motherly for some reason, I made Randy lie on cushions I took off the sofas I thought no one needed, and took dry towels from the toilets, and covered them over Clare and Randy. :) Bought coffee from the vending machine too, I was pretty determined to stay up the entire night...

So the morning came, and Clarissa called for a cab for me slightly before 6am, but then it came early ._. Xinyi accompanied me to the airport to send Jon off, a big thank you to her! I'm really grateful to know her. Cabbed down to Changi Airport, waited for Jon. Apparently we were the earliest to reach (at 6.15am), none of Jon's friends were in sight.. Sat around and waited, and there was a creepy homeless uncle lying on the chairs opposite us, constantly staring at us Q___Q

Jon came with his family after, then followed by his friends. Brendan came, thankfully. Handed him the book so he could ask everyone else to write in it since I didn't quite know Jon's friends, so it was terribly awkward for me. I was with Xinyi the whole time, trying to reduce the awkwardness for both of us :/ I stood back, stole glances at him every now and then as he walked around talking to people, and taking pictures with them..

And before we knew it, 8am came and he had to leave for the departure hall. I wanted to cry so badly but there were so, so many people with him... And we spent many of our recent days together, so maybe that's why we didn't talk much at the airport, I don't know. But yeah, he needs time with everyone else too, since he spent a lot with me already. Sadly, 'enough' is never enough.. Passed him the book, and quickly retreated to the back by Xinyi's side. He started saying goodbye to the whole group sending him off, and upon hearing those words, I started getting terribly emotional..

One by one he hugged everyone, while I was almost failing to manage my tears at the back of the group as he slowly made his way through it. And so I was last... And everyone was staring. I'm not sure of it, but it really seemed like I was the only one who was crying, or maybe because my tears blurred everything. Had a little shiver in his arms and a last kiss, before he turned and left... But he turned back for a last goodbye, blew a kiss and waved. My legs nearly buckled upon that sight. Watched him walk towards the gates, and the group started to dispatch, I think.

My mind decided to again remind me that he'd be gone for two years, and my heart skipped a beat. Reality slapped me in the face as my "it's cool, I'm not gonna cry" wall broke down and tears started streaming down my cheeks. I panicked, I didn't want his group of friends to see me cry. Turned my back towards the group and started searching for a toilet with Xinyi, while I used the back of my right hand to wipe the tears off. Tried to look alright again as I stopped the tears and told myself it was a mere nightmare I'd soon wake up from.

Made a U-turn and we were about to head back to chalet, I didn't wanna waste time because I knew how much I was gonna cry once my facade faded away. Saw Brendan and Jon's group of friends, and I knew they recognized me, for I was in the same shirt that Jon was.. I was hoping they wouldn't notice me, but who wouldn't notice a Domo tee, with a person in bright blue beside? Not to mention that we were walking rather hastily. Seeing them kinda broke my wall inside..

I began to crumble again but wiped my tears off. How could I let them see me cry? Felt all the eyes on me from behind, turned back and indeed, they were looking at me with curious, questioning eyes, and eventually Brendan gave me a thumbs-up, mouthing "You okay?" Plastered a quick smile over my face, did a thumbs-up back at him and the rest of them, then grabbed Xinyi and walked off as a tear trickled down my cheek. I could feel how watery my eyes were, and if I stayed any longer, I'd probably cry a bucket..

Cabbed back to chalet, and Xinyi comforted me as we were walking back to the bungalow.. I held everything in, until Jon messaged me on Whatsapp and called me about 3 minutes before his flight. I could hear, that shivering voice on the other side of the line. I vaguely remember what he said, I was hyperventilating so badly.. "Hey baby, where are you..? Back at chalet? I really, really miss you. Don't be sad, okay? Please don't cry." I murmured a reply into my phone, told him to Skype me and all. I'm guessing he heard me crying already, because this was when his voice shook... "Go and have fun, okay? I um, gotta hang up already... My plane's taking off in the next minute. Message me your Skype name. Okay, I gotta hang up. Don't cry, baby. Bye. I love you.." Managed a bye, then we hung up.

Reached the bungalow, and the first thing I did was to run to the toilet to wash my face. Xinyi followed behind me and locked the door.. I cried really hard inside, hyperventilated and all.. But quickly enough, I recovered (or rather, built my wall back up) and we went to the living room, where we both fell asleep on the sofa. Went upstairs to sleep on the beds afterwards, while all the activity went on downstairs ._.

Woke up at about half-past-two, some people had Mac delivery while some ate noodles.. Randy, myself and Jim cooked instant noodles with hotdogs for ourselves and some others. I felt real motherly. Being around the class really made me keep my wall up. Sure, I did feel like breaking down every now and then, but I suppose I tried even harder to keep my mind off Jon's absence.

There were people who left, and people who left the chalet to rent bicycles. Jim, Xinyi, Clare, Clarissa and myself were the only people left downstairs. I was about to break down because I was missing Jon, but I didn't want this bunch to worry for me. So I decided to get my mind off things :) I started off by cleaning up the bungalow, Jim joined me, while Clare, Clarissa and Xinyi raided the fridge and started cooking food for the five of us :)

The rest of the evening passed quickly. Everyone woke up or came back from renting bicycles, and soon enough we were doing what we did the previous day -- gambling, watching TV, playing games. Good bonding time I guess, but most of the time I was running about and cleaning up :) Dinner was BBQ food again, since we had so much food left. I think I'm in love with Chicken Satay :)

The people who weren't staying all left, Jim and I left the last. We kinda missed the last shuttle bus because he was playing mahjong, so we took a cab and he paid for it.... LOL. Got home when it was almost midnight, and I Skyped with Jon on my phone after a shower! Yay :)

But I still, really miss him now.
I don't know how I'm gonna survive the two years apart.. Fuck.

781. 'Virgin' experiences.

2011-11-27T23:44:00.007+08:00

I know my post title sounds daaamn wrong, but I'm not talking about sex. I swear. When I mentioned virgin experiences, I mean experiences that I've had for the first time. So don't think about sex. I'm still a virgin. I swear.
Anyway, I spent my weekend with Jonathan :) I'm pretty damn tired now, but since I have stuff to blog about, why not? Plus I have pictures sitting around waiting for me to post 'em up! :D So yep, here I am.

Woke up late for Physics tuition on Saturday. Sigh so embarrassing -.- ;; Headed to Gardens after, with Angel, Xinyi and Yolanda! Brought them there because there was a small small flea at myVillage :) I BOUGHT A PRETTY BRACELET!! And it cost me $6 hehehe. I wanted to go look for Mrs Kumar at Clearminds to be a part of Jon's present (I've been working on it!) but apparently Pinky was closing the center down at 4pm... And Mrs Kumar wasn't there. Damn. :(

Came home, got changed, met Jonathan downstairs, then headed to The Coffee Bean for a drink :) Met his friends Sherwin and... I forgot the other dude's name, and went for some Singout concert for the first time, at Presbyterian High :) Talk about virgin experiences, heh. The choir from Holy Innocent's High School, St. Gabriel's Secondary School and Presbyterian High performed. Oh and the alumni from PHS too I think. I was there to support the Gabrielites, aha :>

So yup, the performances were great and everything, and I met a few of Jonathan's friends :) K it was pretty awkward..... But oh well. And me wearing a short dress of thin material didn't help, I was constantly worrying about whether a sudden gust of wind would blow my dress upwards and expose my panties, or that someone would look up under my dress while I was climbing up the stairs... HAHA. But I was careful so I doubt it happened, anyway :X

People camwhored after the concert and I was standing around like an awkward turtle... Meh. Had dinner (or rather, supper) at Toa Payoh's Mos Burger when it was around 11pm. And camwhored with Jonathan! HAHA. K picture spam! We're camwhores! :D That's one super fun thing I love about Jonathan. Hahaha k don't mind me! And yes I post up unglams too... 8)

Spent my Sunday with him too! :) And his friends from Glad Tidings Church. Met him at Kovan, joined them all for lunch at White Tangerine. It was an expectedly big group..... .___. Headed to Nex for awhile, then back to Kovan and to Glad Tidings Church and watched almost 20 people being baptized, including Jon.

Truth is, I barely have any knowledge about religions. Speaking of religion, I'm a free thinker, though my parents say I'm a Buddhist and all. Really? I don't believe in anything right now. I probably know more about Christianity than about Buddhism, and if I burn incense, it was only because I once thought it was fun. But I've grown out of it, I don't even like fire anymore, and burning is a waste of oxygen... :O

Anyway, back to what I was typing. I guess it was pretty interesting, everything that was going on at church, the people there were cool too.. But it was honestly, terribly awkward for me, because I'm not a Christian plus I don't even know anyone there :( But there were ex-Zhonghuarians too, Kaiyin and Lydia, if I remember correctly :) Lydia's husband-to-be, too..

Ahhh okie so I met new people today, I learnt some things about Christianity today, and yeah. Stuff like that. Okie I'm gonna go offline soon, it's awkward for me to talk about everything, somehow D: And I'm on the phone... So yep, my heart isn't all that into blogging so bye! Love y' all and thanks for reading ;)

780. #Reblog.

2011-11-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

I want :>

779. 我的世界，不过就是你的心。

2011-11-23T23:58:00.001+08:00

Met Jon at Serangoon today, and watched an NC16 movie in theaters for the first time. Screw movie and their ratings, tsk. I'm not usually into Chinese movies, but I saw the trailer for this one, was pretty bent on watching it :')

Also, it's my last movie with Jonathan... before he leaves for Australia, that is :(

那些年，我们一起追的女孩。

So yep, I caught 'You Are The Apple Of My Eye' today, at Nex. And hell, yeah. I do agree with the countless people who have sang praises for this movie, 'awesome' isn't even good or powerful enough a word to describe it right now, that's how good it is. I can't say I can fully relate to it, of course, but I guess there were a few scenes that I could, somehow, relate to. Almost cried at those scenes, but I didn't allow myself to ._.

Check out the trailers.....
(One's a song, actually. But yeah.)

Not trying to be a spoiler here, but yeah. The story's about this dude by the name of Ko Ching-Teng and his bunch of friends being in the same class as honor student, Shen Chia-Yi. And as you can tell from the Chinese title, they all had an interest in her. Ko Ching-Teng was a complete screw up, but Chia-Yi changed that fact :') Ching-Teng was made to sit in front of her, and she tried her best to help him with his studies.

In the midst of those efforts, they fell in love :) They were separated upon graduation, but maintained their relationship through long-distance calls every night when they were in university. But good things don't last, do they...? :( Things took a turn and they stopped talking eventually. However, years later, they got in touch again after an earthquake, and... well, to me, the ending sucked.. But it somehow rather, also ended on a good note.

The way I phrase it? Ironic, I know :x

But yeah, I nearly cried when they had to part, and when the actors were crying, everyone was teary and all. I guess that's one flaw I got from my mum, we're both pretty damn emotional :( And the flashbacks towards the end of the movie plus Ching-Teng's voiced-over thoughts made me wonder if I'd feel that way in future. Sigh... :'(

It's just a movie, but I constantly put myself in their shoes while the movie was on. So that feeling kinda sucks because I wanna cry all the time :x Headed to Bishan J8 after so that Jon could check out Levi's, had a walk in the mall, then went to a coffee shop nearby for dinner :) Oh and I gotta mention, Steven Lim approached us as we were on the way there! :O Or rather, he approached Jon, and asked him to be a freelance model because he saw potential in Jon, and felt that he was model material, with the kind of face that people could and would idolize. Sounds kinda gay, I know >___> It's a pity Jon's leaving... Or else I'd have a model for a boyfriend, heh :x

So yup, turned him down and all, then headed to the coffee shop... And I embarrassed myself, big time! :/ Went to a stall to order Fish & Chips, then the worker there told me the cashier was elsewhere, and directed me outside... then I looked over my shoulder at a few Indian workers sitting at a table, then turned back to the worker with a little shock, like "U SERIOUS, BRO?! o___O" smacked over my face. So he directed me once more, and I did the same thing... Then he guided me to the cashier, which was beyond the table of Indians.

SO EMBARRASSING, BUT THAT TICKLED ME REAL BAD .___.

Anyway, took a stroll with him again, as like we did at AMK previously :) Only this time, the floor was really wet because it rained earlier. Walked a little so we could digest our food, and we stopped at the third bus-stop from J8, and waited for a bus back.. The buses that could bring me to my bus-stop took a while to come though, and we talked a little as we waited.

But then there was this silence after he told me a bit of how he felt, and what certain things meant to him. And when he hugged me for a while, I automatically tightened my arms around him and... started tearing, and then crying. And usually, when I start crying, I take eons to stop ._.

And so it remained that way for a while, him listening to me cry in his arms and brushing the tears off my cheeks every now and then, as he spoke words of what I meant to him and pressed my head to rest on his shoulder as I cried harder and shook harder, trying to catch my breath.. Thoughts of his departure flooded into my mind incessantly, and I couldn't help but attempt to picture my days without him in the coming future, it's so fucking scary and all...

But he comforted me, he told me, or rather, assured me, that from the way I cried so hard, he could tell that... I'd be here waiting for him in Singapore, and said that he'd be back for me. Perhaps it's not gonna come true, but for now, it's enough. He kinda fucking means so much to me now, even though sometimes I hate him for certain things, but still... :/

He kinda teared a little too, and hell, to be recalling moments from just now, is making me cry now. (Truth is, I'm a fucking crybaby who has been at it for the whole time I was typing the three paragraphs above this one.) Anyway... I half told him off and half laughed at him for crying, because he's the guy, and his job was to shut up and let me cry in his arms, instead of talking and make me cry harder as a result, or even worse, cry just because his girlfriend was crying at that point of time.

To be honest, though, he had every right to cry. In fact, he should be crying more than me, because he's in a way losing everyone and everything in Singapore, but me? I'm only losing a Jonathan... But he means just about the world to me right now, and I'm losing my world to Australia... :( Sigh, screw this. I'd love the world more if we didn't have separate continents, and that people just lived on one piece of land.. It's just my own imagination and stupid wishing though, I'm forever dreaming of the impossible..

So, yeah. We ended up teasing/ scolding/ laughing at each other because we looked kinda silly to be crying together, but he obviously pulled himself together much quicker than I did.. :(

So... well, that was my Wednesday.

778.

2011-11-22T23:33:00.002+08:00

Blogging like nobody's business, because really, it IS nobody's business. Well, it is mine... :) Still counting down to Jon's departure. I'm probably gonna go crazy, meh. I don't have any idea what I should give him for a farewell gift.. Any suggestions? :/ Thought of a DIY photo frame, but I have no idea where I can get a plain one. Or a scrapbook, but I don't have that much time :( HOW AH.....

Still wrecking my brains, sighhhhh.
I only have like what, a week left..

Anyway, spent the day with him today :') Went to Ministry of Print first thing in the afternoon to get my thumb drive back from them because I accidentally left it there yesterday after submitting orders for 3E5's class tee with Angel and Yitien, how terribly forgetful of me.. Headed back to Toa Payoh for lunch! :) Didn't eat much because I didn't have the appetite u___u ;;

MRT'ed to Woodlands after so he could get a replacement for his headset, and I nearly got hit by a car because I crossed the road without a traffic light, walked super slowly #likeaboss. HAHAHA. So I'm thankful I'm still here blogging anyway.. :P MRT'ed to Yio Chu Kang after, to check out Grassroots Community Club because we've got a date on Saturday, heh :P

We weren't supposed to be allowed to enter because I was in a tank and shorts, and we were both in flip-flops. Forbidden attire there, so-called, which I find pretty lame >___> Fortunately for us, Jon spotted his aunt at the gate, 大姑 whom we had a baking session with, some time ago! :D Then the security guard let us in, heh. Turns out that she was there for Karaoke session with a buncha cool elderly! :P

Checked out Naked Fish Shoppe (or something), then we went to the Karaoke lounge upstairs to look for 大姑! Had a drink there, and thank god our drinks were on 大姑, I didn't think they were so expensive :x Jon ordered a glass of lime juice while I ordered fruit punch, and it amounted to a $21.60, and they glasses weren't that big, mind you .___. ;; Oh and we had some Gin..... Good stuff that costed over a hundred per bottle, damn :x

Oh and 大姑 asked Jon out for a meal sometime before his flight, and since I was there she told him to bring me along! ^^ She suggested Japanese food. If I remember correctly, it's a freaking Japanese buffet! So excited, HAHA. *dies* I've never actually been to a buffet but that's not the point! The point is, she's so nice to me even though we barely know each other omg :') K she's so generous, mad love her already even though it's only my second time meeting her :3

Same goes for Mrs Kumar actually, our tutor at Clearminds! :) She asked Jon out for a meal too, probably lunch on before class next week, and told him to bring me along. What's with their generosity, really? :P I think my Jonjon has a way with (ahem) older ladies. Oh but it's all cool!

Anyway, we said bye to 大姑 and left. Jon hugged her, and then she hugged me! Q___Q When was the last time I actually hugged an adult, really? Or did I ever hug an adult before, even? :O I'm even closer to Jon's aunts than I am to my own..... *shy*~

Back to Serangoon after, sat outside school and waited for some 3E5 peeps to collect money~ K it seriously took eons because not everyone came at the timing they said they would.. But I can't hold it against them, can I? At least I had Jon for company :) Oh and he didn't allow me to listen to his conversation with Calvin, pulled him to another bench for a (so-called) man-to-man talk, pfft ._. K I'm gonna go ask Jon tomorrow :P

And at one point of time I was busy with contacting people on my phone, or checking information and such.. So he went on ahead with reading his comic books. Yeah and I allowed it, sweet or sweet of me? :P So I got bored after a while and tried talking to him and take a picture with him just because I felt like it, and he gave me this face: HAHAHA. My Jonjon's so cute! :P Heheh.
Bye!

Dear God, I need more time.

777. Camwhores ;)

2011-11-21T01:22:00.000+08:00

Spent my Saturday with my dear dear dear Jonathan... :) Yeah, one of our last dates... But oh well. Keeping the faith! Gon' cry like a bitch when he's gone, but eventually I'll pull myself together, pick up the pieces, and get on with life. Not like I have a choice... right? :')

So yep, met up with Jon after tuition on Saturday, headed to AMK Hub :) Wanted to watch 'You Are The Apple Of My Eye', but it's NC16 plus there weren't tickets. I still wanna watch it damn badly :( So yep, Jon bought tickets to the movie, '11-11-11', it's NC16 too and he had issues buying it. So he got the tickets eventually but we weren't allowed to go in because I'm not 16 yet -.-

Here's something for you, Cathay... A BIG BIG FUCK YOU!
People, don't go to Cathay, alright? Fuck Cathay, this isn't the first time they're not allowing me in. So go suck on your own little dicks, motherfuckerzzz. Oh and screw movie ratings like NC16/ M18/ R21! Who gives a bull about what age we have to be in order to watch a movie, honestly! I've watched 'Piranhas' online, it's an R21 movie and there was porno in it. Did I watch it? YES. Did I die, did anything happen to me? Well, fuck NO.

Anyway, moving on, we caught 'Puss In Boots' instead (since those fuckers made us change our movie tickets -.- Once again, FUCK YOU CATHAY), and it was an awesome show! :) Puss In Boots and Kitty Softpaw are really adorable, and the cat that's always there and goes "Oooooooo-h~" in the movie! Hehehe ;) A must-watch, really! Check out the movie trailer:
(Side note: The "Ooooh" cat's at 1:35!)

Had dinner at the pasar malam opposite AMK Hub because I wasn't in the mood for any food from food courts/ restaurants that day, and he always goes along with what I want! :') One of the reasons why I adore him, heh :x Sweet or sweet! Bought 7 butterfly clips from there too, for $1 in total! So cheappp ^^ So I got 6 different colors, two clips in black, hehe.

And then... we walked a few bus-stops instead of taking bus from AMK Hub, and we took two videos on the way :3 It was fun and shit, I'd share them but I don't know whyyyyy, I can't upload videos on Blogger. WHY AH. Did Blogger change or shit like that? Damn it, what's the world coming to? Pfft..... :/ K wait lemme try uploading it onto Youtube...

TROLOLOL IT WORKED. I'm being fucking retarded in the videos because that's how I am when I'm with Jonjon, so don't watch it if you can't stand it HAHA. K and my voice is that of a whiny bitch, I have no idea why either... K my advice is, don't watch it. I'm just entertaining myself my posting these :O

Side note: DON'T ASK ME WHY I HAVE A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT LOL. Okie but I'll tell you why, anyway. I use it to favorite videos. And I MIGHT do vlogs in future. If I'm lazy to type. Erm yeah. No hater comments please thanks. HAHAHA. Oh shit Jon's gonna kill me if he finds this video sometime. Darn.....

Anyway, we were camwhoring on the bus home! K damn funny I swear, when he kissed me on the cheek, made me take a picture, then said like, "Ok now your turn" after that. So he took my phone from me, set it to video mode without me knowing, then made me kiss him while he so-called took a picture. AND HE TOOK A FUCKING VIDEO. Bastard me only!!! But it's just all for the fun of it of course, not gonna share the video 'cause I look super stupid HAHAHA :x

Okie some picture spam here!
K camwhoring with Jon is fun shit. Tell me which boyfriend loves camwhoring?! :D
Yeah I know I look like shit in the last picture...
But guess what? Too bad, you're on my page, SO DEAL WITH IT! :D

776. #Reblogs.

2011-11-20T19:45:00.008+08:00

Hey there. Yes, you reading this right now. I have something to tell you.
Click here.

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Hit Ctrl+F, type 9 into your search bar, then hit enter.

Yeah, that's what I wanna say. Thanks for dropping by and reading my blog. I may or may not know you, may or may not be close to you, but thank you for taking time to read my blog :) Yeah, even if you're a hater and all. Welcome to my life :)
Side note: I got this from @ohteenquotes.

Also... check this video out: http://patchalltheholesupagain.tumblr.com/post/12497591421/aw-these-are-amazing ... Not like I'm gonna have a loved one who's a soldier going for war, but yeah, you get my point. It's the distance between myself and my loved one that I have in common with these people. Yup, tried putting myself in their shoes and couldn't help but cry. 2013, I'll be waiting for you to come, so that I'll get back what's rightfully mine at this moment :)

Also, less than 10 days till Jon's departure... :(

Sorry, love. I can't help but count, I love you and really... I don't wanna lose you. But it seems like we don't really have a choice, do we? Every single ounce of me hurts, I hate it when the thoughts of your departure come to my mind. But as people say, what doesn't break us makes us stronger.

Even if this is a stupid promise I can't fulfill, I love you more than I love Domokun, and I won't say I'll do it, but I'll try to focus on everything else in my life and you, other guys excluded. Family ties, friendships, studies, everything. Everything except a new guy. Let's strike a deal. How about 2 years later, you remain mine and I remain yours? I like that idea... :')

775. Bobster.

2011-11-19T03:00:00.005+08:00

I don't think I mentioned that I cut my hair :o
Hmm, yeah, after almost a year of not going to a hairdresser's, for fear that they'll fuck my hair up. And almost a year of constantly trimming my own fringe... Yup, short hair it is.

Hello, new Elaine. :)
P.S.: Not being shameless but... I think I look cute here, as in, childlike kinda cute.
HEY I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THAT OK....

774. Bacardi, whipped cream, salmon and crazy teens.

2011-11-18T23:35:00.003+08:00

Came home yesterday from one of the most fun chalets I've ever attended :) Got wasted, enjoyed myself, laughed a lot! And most of all, I know that I was truly being myself when I was there at Coasta Sands Resort :) I'm gonna blog in detail, because it's a great memory, and I like to remember things and people I love. Maybe that's why I have a blog, too :)

Headed to Tampines to meet Jon, Aaron and Bryan (Messy), I made them wait awhile because Toa Payoh is so far from Tampines. *coughs* Went to Jon's Granny's place, grabbed the food and BBQ needs from his place. It started raining while we were waiting for a cab! :( Cabbed down to Downtown East @ Pasir Ris, and got wet nevertheless :(

Took eons to check in to the chalet, prolly 45mins =___= ;; Settled down, tidied up the room and all, then waited for the rain to stop before we headed to NTUC @ E!Hub to grab whatever we lacked for the BBQ, which was, apparently, quite a bit ._. A super kind uncle helped us buy Bacardi :) Headed back to A1130, and put our stuff down, then Jon and I went to book the BBQ pits while Aaron and Messy waited in the room.

But when we came back, the room smelled of cigarettes. Assholes smoked while we were away, so they got scolded for stinking up the room, and were forced to buy air freshener before they were allowed to return ._. BUT... they were being cheapo, and bought the cheapest air freshener they could buy. Guess what the bottle wrote? "Incense scented" LOL SERIOUSLY! They prolly bought it to piss us off, but we ended up laughing it off :3

Went downstairs to get the fire started for the BBQ! :> And the dudes did the dirty work, while I, as the only girl there, did what I could -- sit around, watch them, ask them every once in awhile whether I could be of any use. Apparently I wasn't useful until they needed margarine :O Oh and I was on Twitter most of the time, or messing around with my hair and getting things organized at the pit :x Started cooking after they tried for almost 2hrs to create a big big fire, then Taufiq came along :) Apparently he's from my brother's school and cohort and my brother knows him (but I have no idea if he knows my brother), cool or cool! X) I barely did anything there, now that I think about it. More than half the time, I was sitting around watching them, wrapping crabmeat sticks with cheese in aluminium foil, tidying my hair, and using Twitter :x

Aaron and Jonathan were the main two starting the fire, Taufiq and Messy helped a little here and there. Messy's way of helping? Throwing margarine into the flames, or powdering fire starters and sprinkling them over the already-existent fire, then extinguishing the flames accidentally as a result X) Oh and Aaron had to change out of his contacts so they wouldn't melt in his eyes. Oh and then Brendan came along halfway through the BBQ.
(Side note: I think Aaron looks rather cute without glasses.)

Things we did during the BBQ? Prepare food. Cook. Eat and eat. Throw food into the fire, in hope that the flames become bigger. Mix food, mix drinks. Throw whipped cream into our 7Up and drink it in, believe me when I say that it tastes rather good. Blast songs from Taufiq's phone through Jon's portable speakers. Sing, dance, talk, laugh, enjoy life doing stupid things. :)

And when we were done eating, Jon suddenly remembered the salmon piece we bought earlier in the day. The rest of them suggested BBQing it the next day, but Jon actually bought it for me. How much sweeter can he get, hehehe :3 *melts* So they worked on starting the fire again, while Brendan buttered the aluminium tray that Jon bought from Daiso @ Simei the day before :3 I accompanied him there k! :P
The dude with the beanie's Taufiq, and the one in blue is Aaron with his glasses on. He looks uber meh here because of his glasses, and the blurry picture :x

Anyway, there I sat, waiting eagerly for my salmon to be cooked, and tidied up the area while at it. Then Brendan, while buttering the tray, looked at me and said, "Eh Elaine, good life right? All the guys here are at work just so that you can eat some salmon!" XD And so I answered him, "YEA MAN. This is the beauty of being a girl at a BBQ. JIAYOU, YOU GUYS." K mad hilarious.

They also cooked hash browns on the same tray, then ended up mashing the salmon AND hash browns together.. BBQ sauce was added too! ._. This may sound awfully disgusting, but guess what? It was actually fucking awesome, no joke! (Y)

So we ate, and they played songs, like YMCA, the chicken song, Hey Ya... And even the Nyan cat shit, they blasted it through the speakers! It was great fun and everything, we were at pit A30 and people who walked past outside turned in and stared at us! People at neighboring pits did the same :X Then they did the chicken dance, and danced to YMCA! Funny shit :P

Ate marshmallows after, my favorite part of almost every BBQ! :P Except that this time, my favorite was... I suppose everything: the chicken marinated by Jon's granny, Genius Taufiq's cheese on hot dogs, Messy's whipped cream from NTUC, my cheese on crab meat sticks, prawns that Messy shelled, Messy's whipped cream in 7Up, mashed salmon with hash browns, to the soft melted marshmallow interior with a crispy outside layer :)

Aaron, Messy and Brendan went back to the room to wash up and chillax first, while Jon, myself and Taufiq continued our fun with marshmallows downstairs :> Instead of BBQing and eating them, Taufiq tossed marshmallows into the amber. LOL. They expanded, and I kept wishing they would explode, but they didn't :( I joined in for some fun too, but most of the time, I was eating the marshmallows. They were the only things I cooked for myself that night. HAHA. Check out the few pictures taken:
Sorry I only took so few pictures! :/ I was on Twitter most of the time, but after I showered, I left my phone in the cupboard, didn't bother taking any more pictures, reply any texts or check any notifications :x

Sat with the dudes on the bed as we sat in a circle, Jon to my left and Taufiq on my right. Played daidi, 5-10-15, Bluff/Cheat and Monopoly Deal (which I didn't join in), the loser had to down Bacardi mixed with 7Up :O Aaron lost the first game, downed a cup and turned red really quickly. Messy lost the second, Aaron and Brendan I think, gave him a drink with a higher concentration of Bacardi, half a cup maybe? Then Messy got drunk, like really drunk. HAHAHA XD He can't hold his liquor at all.

So we played on without him, but then he got really high suddenly and went around disturbing every single one of us, and even walked out of the room to get some water when it was available in the room on the table ._. Good thing he got pulled back. He fell asleep after, and then we continued... Brendan and Jon drank too, but didn't turn red.

Aaron prolly has a thing against me, he kept on calling me a liar when we were playing Bluff, then I lost one of the rounds when Jon and I were the only two left .___. Downed a cup of it, it's my second time in my life that I'm drinking.. Felt warm, heart pounded like nobody's business, and then I turned reallyyyyy red, then the guys were laughing at me Q___Q Excused myself for a while, then when I came out from the toilet they were all lying down wtf...

And apparently I wasn't feeling very sober so I just lay down and slowly started to drift off ._. The guys were awake, but them lying down to 'sleep' was meant to be a prank on me. Unfortunately for them, I didn't play along, and joined in instead. And then we all fell asleep. HAHAHA. #fail

I'm guessing Jon was first to wake up, then me, because I was beside him ._. And somewhere in the other side of the room, a fart sounded. Laughed like mad and then everyone woke up, but went back to sleep. And I thought I was THE pig... Damn. Brendan left first since he had something on, Aaron + Jon + Messy + myself washed up, and got ready for breakfast, while Taufiq lay in bed half-dead :p

Breakfast at some food court outside of Coasta Sands, then went to E!Hub and played a few rounds of L4D for an hour at the LAN shop there, I think I'm not too noob as a first-timer :P Had a slight headache after that though u___u Skipped lunch and headed back to chalet, Taufiq left too.. Aaron, Messy and myself stoned in the room while Jon tidied up :x Just the 4 of us left, like we started off on Wednesday.

Then Aaron and Messy left together, leaving Jon and I behind. Played songs, sang along while I continued tidying up, and Jon had a shower. I like things tidy, yes I do :D Drank a little bit again, then took a nap till 3pm, woke up and left chalet for home :( It rained againnn. Had Jon's company to Pasir Ris where I took an hour-long bus ride home on 88, and Jon continued his preparations for the second BBQ.. I hope he had fun :')

Came home, showered, met Angel, Xinyi and Yolanda for dinner at J8 before we headed for Physics class.. I wasn't listening at all because I was super tired, was prolly dozing off half the time .___. But well, dinner at that Japanese restaurant was good. My bowl was a little too damn big with a little Udon inside... And I didn't eat a lot because I didn't have much appetite ._.
-----

I know how long this post is, but remember that I didn't tell any one of you to read this all, it's just for myself... Can't help but count down the number of days I have left with Jonathan, can't help but get emotional.

And to be honest, I was tearing a lot after Jon and I parted at Pasir Ris. On the bus back, in particular. It was raining heavily outside, I was feeling moderately cold, and with my earpieces plugged in and songs on shuffle, all the upsetting slow songs played... All I thought of were the happy moments Jon and I shared, but tears were all that surfaced.

Less than 12 days left till I'm gonna have to send him off at the airport, together with his friends. What if he comes back 2 years later, and he's not mine anymore? The chance of that happening isn't low.. He's such a big part of my life now, and it's gonna be difficult to have to do without him in future.

If you think about it logically, I guess it's true that if you could survive fine before a particular someone entered your life, you can again, survive fine after that same someone leaves your life.

I can survive, and I believe so. But I'm just saying that the going's gonna be tougher without Jon around anymore. He changed me, and nothing can change that fact. I thought about this many times before... I've been in a relationship with three guys, one after another since Sec 1. People are gonna judge me when they read this, put labels to my name, but trust me, I don't give a fuck. This is my blog, and if you don't like what's on this page, you fuck off.

Like I was typing, I've gotten together with three guys. My first was Calvin, back in 2009. I guess that's when everything started. Then Shijie came along before I broke up with Calvin in Feb 2010. We had a lot of drama and all, but we remained together until Jon came into the picture in June 2011. That was also when my relationship with Shijie began to fall apart. Then Jon and I got closer in July. My relationship with Shijie ended in September, then I'm now with Jon..

Noticed it yet? My relationship doesn't end unless another person comes into the picture.. Maybe that's just me, or maybe it's just coincidental, I don't know. But I just wanted to point that out. Now that Jon's gonna be away for 2 years, I might meet someone new, he'll prolly meet someone new..

But this is a promise to myself, on my blog, that I won't get romantically involved with any guy while Jon's away at Australia.. Unless we both agree that it's over...
And well, we'll see about that. I just talked to him over the phone, and I'm thinking that perhaps I've decided that I'll trust him more, put more faith into him and believe that we'll somehow pull through 2 years without being physically together with each other :)

So yep, this concludes my post. Bye.

773. Life's like this.

2011-11-15T21:29:00.012+08:00

This is the post I've promised :)

Thursday, 10th November:
Chinese O-Level papers were fairly alright I guess. Wasn't too bad, wasn't good either. Manageable I guess? But I doubt I'll get an A1 :( My Chinese was never extraordinarily good, and I suppose this year won't be another exception. But y' know what, seriously? It's over so fuck it, I'm a free kid now :D

Had tuition in the evening, reached class about 15mins late, then Mrs Kumar walked into the classroom and told myself plus 2 other girls that tuition class was off because she suddenly had something on. Meh. Whined a lil', then headed to Garden's Mac by myself and did some work. Walked 4 bus stops to St. Gabriel's Primary School after, and then bused home myself. (I shoulda walked to Nex and bought bubble tea or something. Damn.)

Friday, 11th November:
Spent my Friday (11/11!) morning at school, had Chemistry intervention lessons and Physics SSP after, till 10:30am. Stoned in school with Krista and Wunping after, then quickly got out of school before 11.11am 8D !! So yep, caught 11:11am on 11/11/11 and made a few epic wishes (yes, Elaine is a greedy kid) and I'm hoping one of them will come true. But I'll know in 2 years :)

Met up with Jon at Raffles Place in the afternoon ^^ Then I met his Aunt for the first time. A really cute and friendly lady, initiated conversations and all. Shared Yami Yogurt too :D She made Jon carry stuff, but he had hiccups so I carried the bags so he could drink water. Then at one point, his Aunt turned over to ask for one of the bags, saw me carrying them, then immediately told Jon off, "AIYO! 你怎么可以叫人家拿!! 什么 boyfriend 来的?!" (How could you make her carry the bags, some boyfriend you are!)

Mad hilarious, I swear XD She's so super cute I love her :3 Parted after, headed to Plaza Singapura to walk around, and caught The Adventures of Tintin! :D Pretty interesting a show, worth watching :) Had Pepper Lunch for dinner after, then I went to Comics Connection and found a LOT of Domo items! Had my eyes set on a furry Domo schedule book for 2012, but it was rather pricey so I settled for a normal one instead u___u It's still cute though! :D
Oh and check out our matching Domo tees that day :P (Disregard my terribly fat legs thanks. I'm lazy to crop the picture.) He asked me to wear it okie! Look who's in love with Domo too 8) 爱屋及乌 much!
Saturday, 12th November:
Did two shifts at the math department booth during Zhonghua's Open House, from 11:30am to 3:30pm :D Was mainly full of fun with people, playing a few Math games and doing origami (which I gave up on after folding a few cranes out of boredom). I LOVE BLOKUS. I think that was the name of the game. Spent my couple of hours on that game, won a couple of rounds too n__n

Headed to Bishan J8 after, Jon and his (other) Aunt came to fetch me! :D She drives, and has multiple piercings on her left ear with blingy studs! Cool and nice woman, even told me to address her as '大姑', the way Jon does ^^ Went to 大姑's place and I kinda fell in love with it immediately, it's a condo :) Learnt how to decorate cupcakes, and that's exactly what Jon and I did!

Had fun, even though I only did one because of the lack of time :( But it's alright~ 大姑 cooked dinner for us, plus Melvin korkor, her son. Dinner time was awkward because I don't usually talk while eating, and I didn't know what to say ._. She steamed Flower Crabs or something, fried rice and eggs, and cooked Wintermelon soup! Ate my fill and she even topped up my plate with rice ._____. ;;

Madness. Chatted with Jon at her lovely balcony after :D I love 大姑's chair that's suspended from the ceiling :3 She gave me a mint chocolate cake, almond bread and cupcakes to bring home that night! And it's all homemade. Did I mention she has a bakery near Zhonghua? I shall go and buy bread from her sometime ^^ I love Jon's Aunts, really. Such kind people :') 大姑 even drove us back to J8, heeeee :3

Check out da awesome stuff. No picture of the bread because... I didn't know how to photograph it nicely LOL. Pardon me :x
My Sunday and Monday ain't worth blogging, so let's just forget about it, shall we? Except that my big brother came over, and at one point of time I was obsessed with my nephew's cuteness and took quite a number of pictures of him :D I think he kinda likes Domo too, he came in to my room and walked out with my Domo pencilcase in his arms :D He also took my Domo speaker, and rejected my Domo plush toy, probably because it was a little too big for him :( Meh.

But ah well, check out his cuteness!! :D And I'm concluding this post here~

BYE!

772. Can I hold you, can I hold you close?

2011-11-14T21:14:00.000+08:00

He Is We - All About Us (ft. Owl City)
"Cause lovers dance when they’re feeling in love.
Spotlight shining, it’s all about us.
It’s oh, oh, all,
About uh, uh, us.
And every heart in the room will melt,
This is a feeling I’ve never felt but,
It’s all about us."

Been hooked onto this song for quite some time, and yes I heard it off TzeNing's blog (although I heard it a couple of times in the past, but I never knew the title) ^^ It's really awesomeeez, so listen to it. I'm gonna go work on another post while listening to this song. ;)
/15th Nov.

771.

2011-11-12T00:25:00.000+08:00

SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES!
Life's been a little hectic here and there. When I'm free, I have absolutely nothing to do, but when I'm busy, all the chores and fun comes at one go. Have quite a bit to blog about, mainly about the past few days.

I'm aware it's been awhile, so I'll make sure I'll blog something worth reading. I'll try, actually :x And I'll do reblogs and music sharing to make up for the days that I didn't blog.....

Ah, you get my point.
I still love you, readers :D Thanks for reading and all k! You're all my reasons to keep this blog going, even though sometimes I'm really lazy and blah. K this post is just to keep you people entertained for a little bit :3

Fear not, I'll be back! :D
P.S.: Suggestions on how I should improve the content of my blog please.
What would you like to see on this page? :)

770.

2011-11-09T23:33:00.004+08:00

Ahhh Chinese O's are tomorrow and I haven't even revised. I mean seriously, about 9hrs left to the paper and I'm gonna make myself sleep for at least 5hrs.. Study? What study. Praying for all the best tomorrow, for myself, and for everyone else out there who are sitting for the papers :) I got a feeling I'll have to drop Higher Chinese... Sigh. But oh well. Gonna do my best tomorrow.

I hate having my period. #justsaying ._.

Less than 3 weeks left with Jon. Been thinking a lot these recent nights ever since I watched a part of an episode of 行医 on Channel 8 at 9pm, where the girl who's diagnosed with cancer(?) rejected Guo En's (Christopher Lee) offer to send her off at the airport the following day, telling him, "我不喜欢那种分离的感觉..."

Ever since that moment I've been picturing myself sending Jon off at the airport and it inevitably leads to me tearing and losing focus of everything in front of my very eyes. I'm not blinded, I'm just resentful towards the fact that Fate always seems to have its ways to fuck me up. Not literally, but you get my point.

Maybe it's Fate messing around with me, making me realize my mistake, casting my drama aside, and run along a path that seems like a better option. But when I'm on my way, it seems to have been twisted again, and what seems so perfect right now is gonna be taken away, too, no matter how much I want things to stay and remain the way they are now..

I'm still in search of a happiness that belongs to me.

When you're back, I still want us to be together. I still wanna be in love with you. I still want your late-night calls, I still want your hugs. I still want... your heart.

769. Day out with two lovelies. ♥

2011-11-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Hello darlings, I got home awhile ago. I am a #happykid96 today! :) Had a tiring yet rather great day out today. Spent the Sunday with Sherlyn baby and the evening with her and my Jonny! :) I actually found today fulfilling :D I think I'm gonna fill this post with pictures of my purchases, yay ^^

Sherlyn baby came over in the afternoon! Slacked at my place for a bit, then off to Somerset! :D Went to a flea market at Scape. It's my first time at a flea market. And it was pretty damn crowded, but at the same time I saw a lot of pretty stuff! If I wore dresses, heels and skirts, I'd have a lot more purchases... Meh :( I have opportunities in future though~

There were a lot of things at the flea, but it was so crowded and stuffy there :'( Walked around for a bit first, and then I bought this tank top for $3! So cheap and mad awesome, hehehe.

Close-up shot.
When I got home, I asked my brother how much he thought this might have cost me, and his first guess was $12, then $5, then $15. And I'm like, "No bro, $3!!" I felt good even telling him that! :P

Bought some plug thingy for the earpiece port on phones/ music players... Mad cute! :) 3 for $10, so Sherlyn got herself a green ribbon, and then I bought two identical french fries for myself and Jonny! :D LOOK AT IT.

Cute, isn't it? ^^ ♥ (Except the fact that its eyes aren't equal-sized, the booth only had two left and I gave the one with equal-sized eyes to Jonnypoo because I'm sweet like that :P )

I think today would have been better for me if I had bought more stuff. Hey I now kinda regret not buying that high-waist shorts for $5..... I deserve to be shot. In future I'll buy everything I eye and fancy that's not at all overpriced. Even though I might regret it >___> ;;

Anyway, moving on, Sherlyn and I continued walking around, and then we went hunting for accessories... She spotted a Domo ring! I woulda seen it too, but she apparently wasn't interested in a lot of stuff and browsed through a lot of things quicker than myself ._. SO YEP. I bought the Domo ring for $3! I like all my purchases today n___n ~ It's terribly cute and it fits my fingers perfectly ;)

Baby bought herself a Punkstar tee-shirt, guess how much?! It only costed a bloody $3. Seriously, it was that cheap! So next time you know there's a flea happening somewhere, go be a part of it and get some cheap shit for yourself. (Remember to ask Elaine along too..........)

Went to Toast Box later on when we got tired, had peanut butter toast :D I am really in love with peanut butter of late. Except the fact that it gets stuck on my teeth sometimes or gives me hiccups and all. That aside, peanut butter is love! :) Went back to 313Somerset after, and met up with Jon at Uniqlo. I kinda want their fluffy jacket! u___u ;; Oh and Sherlyn camwhored with the hats there.

She wanted to camwhore with the earmuffs too, but the alarm sounded because she was near the entrance and it was fucking hilarious :x And I mean it. LOL.

Walked around 313 a bit, then got bubble tea (Jon paid. Hey I'm crediting him here.....) and went back to flea, where I got more stuff! :>

Necklace for $3! ^^

Walked on, and found wristlets! I wore two out today, the only two I had. One was from Calvin (Kung), the other I got from Vietnam, and Sj has an identical one... But anyway, it was 1 for $2.90, 4 for $10! It isn't all that cheap but hey, compare it to 77th street, it's about one-third the price lol. So Jon and I got 2 each, similar ones! :) I think he paid for them. Oops... But we don't squabble over money, so yeah :x I don't have pictures of his or Sherlyn's purchases :( Meh.

Check out the wristlets I got today, though :D

Dined at Pastamania, I love baked rice :3 Headed back to the flea after dinner when the booths were closing down, hoping the prices were slashed and we'd get some good stuff. But nah, weren't quite in the mood anymore :( I did get one final item though, iPhone button stickers!! :D

This cost me $4, for 6 stickers. For the two missing ones, I gave one to Jon and the one in the second picture, I'm using it currently! :D

Oh and he also bought a Domo tee from the same booth... HE IS CRAZY I SWEAR. I don't really wear my Domo tee now, but he bought it for $14 without me even requesting it. Now that's really cute, hahaha! Apparently I'm making him fall in love with Domo too. Which is pretty damn awesome, no? :D And I need to re-emphasize this, he bought it voluntarily, I did not point a gun to his head and tell him to buy it k..... #justsaying!

Homed after, because all three of us were feeling exhausted by then ._. Parted with Sherlyn at Toa Payoh MRT, and then bused home with Jon as company :D Overall, I think today was pretty awesome. Except Shermaine and Siyu couldn't make it :( But it's okie, Sherlyn and Jonathan made it better! Heheh. Oh and my purchases, too, of course :3

I'm thankful for Jon. Really thankful. He's cute, he's sweet, he's loving, caring, warm and friendly and everything... I got a slight feeling that this relationship probably won't last, but oh well. I'm putting my hopes into it because of, well, everything. Everything about him, everything he has told me, everything I feel about him, everything that seems to good to be true, even. He just seems to be someone who I can fully lean on in times of need.

But I still wonder who'll take over when he's gone -- maybe I'll be alone, maybe not...
Still, Life's good for now. Just for now.

768. Because these things will change.

2011-11-05T23:08:00.005+08:00

Just changed my blogskin! Don't ask me why I decided on the theme of 'Fall', I just did. And I like how the brown background tiles perfectly :3 It looks rather awful overall though, I don't know why :( It's just passable, that's all..

What do you think? :)
-----

Moving on, Chemistry SPA was on Friday, I think it was alright except my value(s) differed slightly from that of my classmates ._. But that's okie. Spent Thursday afternoon with Sherlyn baby and Jonnypoo, I miss my baby can! :( Met Jon on Friday for lunch (breakfast date failed terribly) @ Macs.

And today morning, I went to meet up with Angel, Xinyi and Yolanda at Bishan. Bought Koi, then had Physics tuition at some tuition centre, the first lesson. I think the teacher's weird, but oh well. He seems to be able to teach so maybe it'll help ._. Headed back to J8 after, while Angel left.
There was some Cotton On clearance sale so I bought myself a crop top @ $5!! #happykid96 :) Xinyi bought a pretty high-waist skirt (I'd buy it if I wore skirts often, that's how nice it is) but Yolanda decided to drop her find :/

Rushed like mad cow after to Mrs Kumar's class at Serangoon, only had a Chicken Mushroom puff from Old Chang Kee for lunch :( Pitiful kid much. And did I mention I reached class 40mins late? Ah well. Slack session with Jon after, had Frolick for the first time in my life! But then he made me drink 100-PLUS with salt inside later on because I have three massive ulcers on the right side of my upper lip. And they hurt like craaazy..... :'(

*gives a great big sigh*

On a side note, though, I'm heading out with Sherlyn baby/ kukupartner, Shermaine and Siyu tomorrow! :) Can't wait, can't wait! Looking forward to get cheap awesome finds and have a great day out with them babes ^^ Really miss hanging out with them loaaads~ Also... Jonnypoo's gonna be joining us (or rather, me) in the evening. HEHE.

Sunday, please be fucking awesome ;D
P.S.: I have something more to say.
Y' all know how Jonnypoo has been there for me through so much, right? And if you've been following my recent posts, we've been together rather often, haven't we? Actually, if it isn't already obvious enough, we're together. K I'm dumb to be stating the obvious, but still. #justsaying :) Bye.

P.P.S.: Happy 1st monthsary. And we're gonna spend the next couple of years apart, but I think this is probably (and hopefully) gonna be worth a shot. He doesn't read my blog, but still. I don't see why not.

P.P.P.S.: Rape my Formspring with Anonymous hater comments if you want. Ok can. :)

767.

2011-11-02T23:32:00.003+08:00

I'm a tad bit late, but it's November already.. Wow, how the fuckery are the months slipping so quickly past us? I don't even get to take things slow now. Holidays are here. Or rather, they're coming soon. It's gonna be the last that the promoting Secondary 3 students can enjoy, before the final hurdle starts.

It ain't gonna be an easy battle.
But for now, goodbye October and hello November.
October:
1. Darrius turned 2 years old.
2. EOY Examinations.
3. Movie marathon @ Jon's
4. Trip out w Christopher + Dylan + Joohan :>
5. Class of the year: 3E5!
6. Return of results.
7. Halloween Fright Fest @ Singapore Flyer w Jon.

November:
1. Holidays (!)
2. GCE O Level SPA examinations.
3. GCE O Level Chinese examinations.
4. 3E5's class chalet.
5. Physics tuition with Xinyi for a month.
6. Jon's farewell chalet.
7. Jon's departure :'(

That must sum it all up, maybe there'll be more, maybe not. November's gonna be my month of heartbreaks. Maybe, just maybe.. This holiday's gonna be a busy one. And I know for sure that in 2012, I'll lose a lot of readers due to the O's, and I'll be blogging less I suppose :( Apart from that, my posts will be less of pictures, more of words 'cause I'll be blogging from my phone if I do. And it's gonna suck.

So appreciate my blog for what it is now. LOL :x
Okie, bye :) And thanks for coming by. *blows a kiss*

766. Nicotine & faded dreams.

2011-10-30T11:43:00.002+08:00

"I wish my heart was always on her mind,
'Cause she's on mine like all day, all the time.
Forget me not, forget me now.
I’ve come too far to turn around.
I’m here tonight.

'Cause I'm never going down,
I'm never giving up.
I'm never gonna leave,
So put your hands up."

Sorry I haven't been sharing songs on my blog for the longest time ever :/ Lost that blogging vibe, so my posts were rather dry for some time. Another reason was because of the stupid examinations... But now I'm back! :D So ta-dah.
Did I share this song before? 'Cause I'm so in love with it, in love with We The Kings :) Check out their other songs too, pretty damn awesome ;)

765. Fright fest.

2011-10-29T02:38:00.011+08:00

Hello lovelies! :) Happy Halloween in advance (Halloween's on 31st Oct), although we don't celebrate it here in Singapore. There have been events going on around on our little island though, such as the Spooktacular at Sentosa, Halloween Night at USS, The Museum of Horrors at *Scape, Fright Fest at Singapore Flyers and more :)

After tuition today, I had a last-minute outing with Jon! Like, he texted me around 3.30pm when I was at class, and then slightly over an hour later, we were on our way to the Singapore Flyer :O Walked around for a bit first, watched the rehearsal of a dance competition and took pictures! He's a camwhore lol. But I think I looked alright in the pictures taken today. Ahem ;)
Oh and I think I look reallyyy happy in the two pictures below~

Walked around a bit, and there were little booths at the foot of the flyer near where the tickets were being sold! Queued for the tickets, then decided not to because some student promo was only on weekdays. Meh :/ Walked around the booths, saw a Domo water bottle! :D Bought it later on n___n The lady sold it to me for $6! Yay~ #happykid96!

But something cropped up and Jon had to leave :( Sighhh. Then we walked around the ground level..... Was feeling meh to the max because we made a wasted trip. But then, a man was approaching people to give his tickets to the Fright Fest away because he had to leave! :D And after being turned down by a couple of people I think, he approached us, and we accepted the tickets! So Jon phoned his whoever and said he couldn't make it :P

Was really happy for the rest of the day! :D We got tickets that were worth $25 for free, why not :P Slacked at the lounge for a little bit, camwhored! (It was his idea, not mine... Although I admit I always wanna take pictures just so I could make my blog more interesting for my readers. But the fact is I hardly do so on outings.) Oh and my smile looks rather fake here. I like my hair.
Shared Fish Sandwich and 2pcs Chicken Meal for dinner at Popeyes, I love their fries :D Loitered around a little more after, and then went for the Fright Fest! Wasn't a lot to look forward to though, it was just a walk. Oh but the 'ghosts' in the forest were pretty damn cute, some of them :D We went twice! I didn't really take pictures though, was busy staring at their make-up instead, and being wary of what to expect :(
Throughout the two trails, I got scared twice. Or rather, I screamed twice :O In the first, the fat lady in front of us was scared and panicky as heck, just quick-walked through the trail like they weren't there o___o On the second trail, towards the end, I watched a 'ghost' climb out of a bush and grab an Indian boy's leg from behind, was totally waiting for a hilarious reaction, and I got what I wanted 8) He jumped and screamed simultaneously, then hugged his mother as if he was about to be devoured. PRICELESS.

And for me... I got scared by a Japanese soldier. For some reason, I saw it coming, the fright :o But then he jumped out and shouted a "BOO!" at Jon and myself, then the fat lady I mentioned earlier screamed, then I turned over, stared at him for approximately 1.5seconds and screamed and ran off like a hysterical bitch! HAHAHA, it was mad embarrassing I swear :x

Yup and the second time, the ghost who grabbed the Indian boy's leg, brushed his/her hand across the back of my thighs on the second trail D: I swear I nearly threw a punch over but I was more bothered by the fact that my right foot was dirty because there was mud on it :( Meh. But I half-screamed ._.

Up to the lounge after and claimed a Halloween drink, which was in fact just blended fruit juice with cherry bits inside :o But the green was... gooey green o___o The view was beautiful though, so we took pictures! Again, the idea was from you-know-who :P Well the pictures don't look good though, it was taken with my iPhone... So yep.
Checked out a carnival nearby, then headed home :) Was feeling mad tired, but that's alright. I had fun. I love my best friend. I love today. I love going out, hanging out and chilling around. Life's good today, I felt like myself for another day. I'm gonna cherish the time we have left together, because, really, our days are numbered.....

32 days till 30 November.
P.S.: Thanks for today :)

764. Dear diary...

2011-10-28T11:10:00.001+08:00

Dear blog...

Today was the last day of school of 2011, school has officially ended. 2011 flew by unexpectedly quickly, and I've yet to come to terms with it. I'm glad yet scared at the same time that this year is coming to an end. 30 November will soon come, and it's then that I'll be praying hard, 2014 will come quick...

The school year kinda ended on a good note though :) We got back our report books and I improved a slight bit, I'm not second-last in class anymore :x Apart from that, I think Julian's an underdog.. 3E5 got Class of the Year, and I'm rather happy with that fact. What I thought of negatively in the beginning turned out to be a little blessing. I guess that's how I should put it.

The year was great with 3E5, and I'm glad I met new people. They've entered my life, although no one quite matters as much as those people I met in my previous years in Zhonghua. Maybe Xinyi... Maybe Julian, Jim, Clarissa and others. Hi Calvin, if you're reading this :) Maybe Calvin too. I guess I'm glad to meet the people I've met :)

And summing up this year, it was absolutely terrible, horrible, vegetable :( But perhaps being in 3E5 made it much more comforting and fun, and saved me from any drama. But the thing I regret most is allowing everyone to drift away from me..... The girls who still mean so much to me.

If you're reading this now, I still love you all kay :') I miss the old times we shared, all the times that we had, to talk to each other. But we barely even talk now, and that sucks a tremendous load. The love's still there, though.. So no worries about that. Maybe they forgot about me, sigh :'(
-----

Moving on, happy one-day belated birthday to my dearest best friend, Jonathan :) Didn't manage to pass him his gift yesterday, so I spent a few hours with him today, before his paper. Homed to change and grab his gift after school, met up at Nex, and 'Prunes' was sitting beside him! Prunes as in that Nig from tuition :x ..
Yep, lunched and then walked him to his school. Bad idea for a girl to be anywhere right outside St. Gabriel's Sec... I got a lot of stares today :( And I was the only one girl there. The only other female was an old lady... Meh.

I'm glad my efforts paid off, because I hardly put so much effort into a card. Or should I say I've never put so much effort into making a card, eh? We talked over the phone just now. We talked about countless things, although he did most of the talking and I was listening... But still :)

Fridays like today are kinda awesome :3

Well, ciaoz till the next time I blog... Bye.

763.

2011-10-25T20:59:00.004+08:00

Where shall I start blogging? I'm beginning to lose my touch. These couple of days have been rather moody for me, and I'm starting to think I'm slowly shutting myself away from the world. I'm starting to have morbid thoughts clogging my mind, plus I've been suffering from insomnia these couple of days. I'm leading an unhealthy life now :(

Sunday was fantastic though :) Headed out with Christopher, Dylan and Joohan. It wasn't much though, just a bit of catching up and a whole day out of the house :) I love their company, actually. It's around these people that I'm really myself. Or that's what I think, anyway. Met them at Bishan, headed to Bugis junction, then to Iluma, and walked around, but got nothing. Went to Orchard later on, took awhile to locate Far East Plaza (thanks to Chris!), and when we finally reached, I made them cover almost the whole mall with me :D

Chris and I each got some stuff, when we were the ones who actually headed out without a goal in mind 8) On the other hand, though, Dylan and Joohan didn't get their wallets, and Dylan didn't find a pair of slippers! Chanced upon a lot of Domokun items that day, was so tempted to get them all but they weren't all that functional, so yeah :/ I bought a Domokun pencil from Comics Connection!! And a duo ring from Far East ^^ Oh I took this picture at school today and tweeted about it so... don't mind the Chemistry behind my hand.
Dined out at Kovan with them three, after about six or seven hours of walking around, and Dylan and Joohan whining non-stop, Chris was rather cool about it ^^ Bused to Toa Payoh with Dylan and Joohan, walked to Lorong 5 and bought Soy Bean Milk, then they both walked me home at half-past-ten at night :D Heeeee.

Weekdays aren't worth elaborating on. Add on the fact that we HCL students have been having timed practices these two days, and that most of us had extra classes, SSPs... Very fucking uncool, I swear. And today was meh, as with every other Monday/ Tuesday. So yeah that's all for now.
-----

#foreveralone.

So there's this guy called Jonathan in my life, and I think he's really awesome and everything. No, he did not force me to blog this... And now he's a pretty big part of my life, somehow. Even though we've only known each other since June. His presence in my life has changed me, and my presence in his life has changed him. More or less. I think I'm happy with him, and I like his company.

But the sad thing is he's going away soon. And I know it's gonna hurt. I'm betting a lot of people are gonna be putting labels to my name, that I'm a bitch/slut/asshole/whore for being close to another guy within a month of my last breakup. Thing is, dearest haters, I believe that I have every right to pursue my happiness.

Just 'cause Sj was no longer able to put a smile across my face anymore, doesn't mean that other guys should be revoked of the right to try to make me smile again. So well, yeah. I'm just saying. Haters gonna hate, so I don't mind. Pelt your little hateballs at me. I'll grow immune to it all, eventually.

Bye.
36 days left..... :(

762. Reblog.

2011-10-22T04:39:00.005+08:00

4:39AM in the morning now, should head to bed..... But first.

One.
Two.
Three. I should force this into my head.

“Other people will suck the reality off you sometimes, make you suddenly self conscious of who and what you are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Let the feeling wash over you, accept it, and move on past it. You seemed really concerned about this when you were younger.”

— I Wrote This For You: The Reality

We live in a world built on lies constructed by liars.

Goodnight.

761.

2011-10-21T23:52:00.004+08:00

The one mentioned in post 760 was obviously the one who posted that using my phone while we were at school. Uncool >:) School has been alright these couple of days. I'm still #foreveralone, even as the school term's ending. I guess everyone's moving on while I'm stuck here in the shadows of my past. Such a depressing thing, but I guess it's true. Ha-ha.

Spent today at Jon's :) Met him at Kovan at noon, rented three movies, Insidious, Paul and Arthur from some CD rental shop, then went to eat beef noodles somewhere in Kovan :) Fantastic stuff (Y). I'll go back there if I ever remember how to go, hehe. Entered a LAN shop with Jon, and I was the only girl there, so I got many stares. Mad awkward, damn :O

Headed back to Jon's place after, blasted songs on the speakers and sang along 8) Watched Insidious and Paul later on... Insidious scared both of us like hell, LOL. Go watch it it you haven't, it's pretty interesting too. I mean, I could more or less relate to it because I experienced a bit of what Dalton went through... But enough about that, the ending was fucked up and scared me :'( Jon and I are still feeling disturbed by the show. HAHA :x Paul was nice, funny and a little vulgar. But I like shows that are vulgar actually, to be honest.

Fell asleep on the bed after watching Paul, no idea what Jon did to pass time while I was dreaming ._. My intended twenty-minute nap turned into one that was an hour longer... Epic win. So we didn't get to watch Arthur :( And the returns are due next week :( Maybe I'll just watch it online...

Oh and, did I mention that I borrowed a storybook from the library yesterday? ;) I ♥ Lisa Kleypas.

760. Hehe <3

2011-10-20T10:34:00.001+08:00

Hi hi TzeNing is the most awesomest friend on earth ;)

Bye!~

759. Still alive.

2011-10-19T23:50:00.002+08:00

As of today, we've gotten all our results back. Well, all the papers. And I can't say much about it, except I screwed up (as usual). I didn't put in my best, but I can say I tried. Failed both my sciences, not-so-surprisingly, and I passed all the others! Not that it's a good thing I failed two, but it's a good thing that I passed the others. Sciences are pretty damn important though, and the fact that I failed both proves that... I'm not a science person :x

Oh but most of my passes were bare passes.. So whatever. The crucial year is 2012. Can't help but keep thinking that 2012 is the end of the world, as in, almost literally. When the O's come, I'm screwed. Sigh. Can't get over the fact that 2011's coming to an end..... This is fucking scary :'(

Spent some time talking with Calvin and Mingsheng in class today, and Adele joined in later on. We talked about our old times... And yeah, it pretty much dawned on me that time went like zoomzoomzoom! So much that it's scaring me really bad. I miss the old times. I miss the Kheng Cheng kiddos. I'm still living in my childhood.

And... I still feel like I'm in Sec 2. To be honest I still feel like I'm in Sec 1 or something. Fuck, can't come to terms with it. Talking to Mingsheng today made me realize how much things have changed since 2009. He's the only one who's gonna be with me in the same class throughout secondary school. I remember how immature we all were in 2009, but look how much we've all changed...

Oh wow, I'm really fucking scaring myself really bad :( I'm on the phone with best friend now. And I'm counting down the number of days left, to everything. I'm counting down the number of days I have left with him, and the number of days there are till this year ends. Only 7 days till his birthday, only 63 left with him, only 74 days left till 2011 ends.....

I SHOULD STOP BLOGGING, I'M FREAKING OUT REALLY BAD :'(

758. A dose of happiness.

2011-10-16T04:29:00.004+08:00

I'm back for a quick update! Pretty much out of content to post but I have the urge to blog right now so... Yep. Oh and really, Elaine? The urge to blog at half past four in the morning ._. Damn I think I am weird. Nocturnal, maybe. Oh but it's all cool. Except I have really bad panda eyes now. Perhaps eyebags, too. Tsk :(

Anyway, I'm a #happykid96 now that the exams are over!! :) I feel aimless and bored all day with zero burden (from school) on my shoulders, and that's the way I like life as it is now :) But I know this feeling isn't gonna last. When I get my results back, that's when I'm screwed. We're probably getting it back really soon but, screw that. I'm just gonna be happy while I can... u___u ;;

Spent my Friday and Saturday with Jonathan! :) This Ninnypoop (inside joke) never fails to make me smile, be it acting like a complete retard or just by bastarding me. But it's all good old fun :) Life's good. Good to have someone who can read me like a book at times, dote on me like an older brother, go shopping with me, talk to me when I feel like shit and all. Ahhh I cannot express how grateful I am for his (sadly, temporary) presence in my life :')

Friday: Met up late in the afternoon at Nex and bought Hokkaido Milk Tea from Chongyang @ Come Buy :) Loitered, walked into random shops and picked up random things, THEN WE BOUGHT A DOMO COIN POUCH EACH! ♥ I like to spread THE love for Domo ;) Headed to 313 @ Somerset after! So gonna head there to do shopping someday... Damn. Homed at 10pm or so, Jon came over for late dinner, and left at half past eleven :3 Hehe.
Saturday: Tuition class @ Gardens, ate Horlick Crunch McFlurry at Macs after! :) BLISS. I am so in love with that ice cream I swear :x Sudden last-minute plans right after the ice cream was finished, randomly boarded bus 136 to Ang Mo Kio and spent the remaining of the afternoon and half the evening there :) Walked the whole AMK Hub, and a bit of the street outside. Didn't get any buys though, except I replaced my Domo folder which... I sadly ruined some time ago due to my rage. Enough of that though, so embarrassing! :$ I'll treat this one with care. It's a promise to myself. HAHA :x

Anyway, I'm gonna spend my Sunday rotting at home unless someone asks me out last-minute, which is... really unlikely. So I'm just gonna be a lazy bum today and not move my legs much. Bad thing is, I'm still down with the flu bug from ages ago! :( Yes, I have yet to recover and this is really, REALLY annoying! Hmph.

K enough for the night.
I've spent an hour on this post, and a lot of distractions from my other tabs on this window and random clicking here and there. (Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, blogs I follow, MSN, and not to mention my phone: Whatsapp, text messaging, Tiny Tower and shit like all that...)

Probably gonna spend my Sunday watching movies, and maybe spend Monday out with best friend, taking pictures for keepsakes, walking around, savoring good food although my body probably doesn't appreciate food anymore, and going on a movie marathon. Maybe, just maybe :) It's 5.25am in the morning now. Have a good Sunday & Monday ahead, and thanks for reading, love :)

757. Reblog.

2011-10-14T03:20:00.005+08:00

The exams are finally over! And I screwed up everything. As usual, sigh. Expecting myself to fail both Sciences, A.Math and History now. Maybe even Full Geography and Social Studies. Sigh I am such a failureeee :( Pretty damn sure I'm gonna be last in class now. Probably not gonna be last in cohort though. Maybe last 25% :( Damn.

K, been through a lot these days and I'm kinda tired. I'll admit, I'm a little upset, still.. Over things I shouldn't be upset over. I should be happy, I need happy pills. I should sleep all my days away, I should... I need to hang out more so, anyone? :( #foreveralone :( Missing the KCS kids like craaazy somehow :) And the good times.

Well, short one for now. I'll be back :)
P.S.: Best friend. Currently :)
For some reason I really like this picture, hehehhh.
I'm trying not to cry because I know you're not worthy of my tears.
Not anymore.

756. You reap what you sow.

2011-10-09T19:38:00.001+08:00

Exams start tomorrow and end on Thursday. I haven't been doing much studying, despite the fact that I didn't sleep at all last night and only slept from 8.45am to 11.50am ._. Yep.

And for the time I'm awake, little bit of studying here and there with barely any information going in :( Sigh, Monday and Tuesday are gonna suck, I'll be sitting for the super content-heavy subjects. Probably won't get to sleep any more than 3hrs of sleep these couple of days.

But fear not, bed. We will unite soon and spend half of my days together, dreaming, thinking things. For now, bear with it :(

Hate how I always procrastinate non-stop (even now) and end up not doing work :( Or any studying at all. I'm not a productive person, meh. And after every major paper I sit for I'll tell myself, "Okay, I will study early the next time around."

But in reality, I still tell myself I have plenty of time, and I actually don't. Too many distractions, too much work, too little time :( Even the number of days with my Poopiebear are decreasing pretty damn rapidly.

Sigh. Time to get back to work.
Btw, here's what I did during the weekends :) Geography mindmaps (which I am REALLY proud of), and I also organized my files and shelf :) Lastly, I also did some A.Math sums. Really hoping that tomorrow will be alright for me! Can't afford to screw up, can I? :(

Ciao, xx.
(Side note: Look how long my hair is now! ^~^)

755.

2011-10-07T09:28:00.001+08:00

Hello there :) I'm here blogging with my phone because I'm really bored during PE lesson. Mr Khoo is playing basketball with Xuanli and everyone else is busy studying/ chatting with others. I'm one of the few who doesn't feel entertained now :/

I think I should feel guilty because the exams are just next week and I haven't even started revising for anything at all. No wait, correction. The first main paper is on Monday... Which is just a mere 2 days plus away :/ I feel the stressssssssss but I'm not doing anything about it lolol.

K I'm really really bored now :( But if I were in the emo nemo mood now this post would be full of angst and emotions. But nah :) I'm rather satisfied with life now, even though it's not every part of it. I know it can be a lot better than this..

This isn't the time to be emonemo, lol. I have a best friend. And you don't know how much he means to me right now :D It feels good to have someone who seems to genuinely care and dote on you, someone who'll be there for you when you're down, someone who'll call you at night just to say goodnight, someone who'll look you up in person just to make sure you're alright.

But it's gonna suck when that someone leaves. :( 20 December.

PE's ending soon! I don't know how I took so long to work on such a short post. Maybe because I started my post halfway through the lesson and I'm watching people play and listening to conversations. And observing people and thinking about stuff....

Time to go. Bye :3
(BOREDOM SHOTZ. Don't miss me too much!)

754.

2011-10-06T00:12:00.003+08:00

Hi there, I'm down with a flu bug because my brother sneezed on me two days back. AND IT REALLY SUCKS :( Anyone wanna hug me to gimme some comfort? I'd love you a lot more than I already do. Okay no wait, no one reads my blog anyway :(

Screw you automated taggers.

Exams next week and this is happening to me. FANTASTIC.
This happens every year, I thought 2011 would be different. But I guess I was wrong, I fell ill again. I'm forever ill during the exam period. Fuck my life. Big time -___-
(And it doesn't help that I'm having my period now lolol.)

Take care people! :)

753. It's driving me mad, I miss you so bad.

2011-10-04T21:14:00.004+08:00

Simple Plan ft. Natasha Bedingfield - Jet Lag

"You say good morning, when it’s midnight,
Going out of my head, alone in this bed.
I wake up, to your sunset.

It’s drivin me mad, I miss you so bad.
And my, heart heart, heart is so jetlagged."

~~Exactly how I'm gonna feel when J leaves.~~ :(

752. #Reblog.

2011-10-04T01:04:00.004+08:00

-----

This:
For the one who suddenly entered my life recently, and is gonna leave just as abruptly.
"I was enchanted to meet you" :')

751. Billie Armstrong, it's time.

2011-10-02T04:50:00.003+08:00

Been MIA for awhile now, but that's alright because there probably aren't many people reading my blog anymore. Even if there are any stalkers left out there, be wise and read my Twitter (@_elainez), there are more updates there ;)

Anyway, look. It's a brand new month again. September has passed in the blink of an eye. Wait, I don't even remember September starting at all, to be honest. And what the fuck, it's October already. I guess September ended on a good note, end of the advanced papers that went alright for me except some major screw-ups here and there. But that's okie, because it takes failure to attain success. Don't know how I came up with that at 4.54am in the morning, but yeah.

Stuff from September:
1. Teacher's/ E-learning/ ACES Day.
2. Krista's chalet.
3. Shopping trips with Shermaine.
4. Shopping trips with Jon.
5. Paintball event with the Shooting girls.
6. Zhonghua's 100th Anniversary Dinner.
7. One-week holiday (which passed in the blink of an eye).
8. 3E5 won class of the term again :)
9. The end of a sixteen-month-long relationship.
10. Advanced papers of EOYs.

And in October:
1. Darrius' birthday dinner/ Children's Day.
(Happy belated birthday baby!)
2. Main papers for EOYs.
3. Many movie marathons.
4. Shopping trips (maybe).

September was a lot to handle, so I'm praying hard, as usual, that the coming month's better. 2011 seems to suck with every passing month, let's just hope 2012 is gonna be different. No time for drama, 'cause next year it's time for me to bury myself in work and mug for O's. No time to waste..

I've learnt some lessons, I've grown a little. It might still burn when I think about you, but I guess we should both move on just 'cause it's the best for us right now. I'm rather satisfied with my life currently and I don't want things to change, although I know very well that in time, they will.

The major change is coming in December. Or worse still, November. It's time to prepare myself for another major heartache when someone else dear leaves. I don't know when this person is gonna come back, but I know that things are gonna undergo drastic changes. And it's gonna suck a whole lot, I'm guessing.

"I can promise you, that by the time we get through,
the world will never ever be the same...
And you're to blame."

Bye for now.

750.

2011-09-27T22:42:00.001+08:00

How's everyone? :) The exams are real soon so remember to play hard, study harder! Though I'm prolly not doing that myself. But that's alright, I think I'll make it somehow 8)

And I'm back this time because I think I forgot to blog about this awesomeness. Just a quick one, so this is it, bye for now :) Remember to take care of yourselves, xoxo.

749.

2011-09-26T20:57:00.001+08:00

As long as my post has very little text, it's highly likely that I typed it and published it from my phone. Same goes for this one :)

The kids came over yesterday :) And Darrius hugged and kissed me on the lips. But he wasn't still enough for me to take a picture with him, so here are my pretty and cute sweetie pies :D hehe.

748. Reblog.

2011-09-25T01:41:00.002+08:00

Life isn't a bed of roses, and not everything's gonna go the way you want them to. So take things one step at a time and learn how to let go. Live happily, love unconditionally and never regret your life.
Xx.

747. Best friend.

2011-09-24T22:35:00.007+08:00

Just installed the Blogger application on my phone so maybe I'll blog more in future. I mean, provided I have the time. I still prefer my laptop anyway, but I hardly use it anymore because I can't afford that kind of time. Besides, I need to study :( Why am I looking for so many excuses for myself?! Meh ._. Sorry, just had to. It's pretty much been a week since I last used my lappy, so, hi I'm here again.

Well I'm sorry for the lack of updates of late, but the exams are just a couple of days away so I guess I should start revision already. And yes, I haven't even started. Which means, I'm more or less screwed. Hell, yeah :/

Anyway, have been spending my time with this dude :) Really grateful for his presence in my life, so I'm just gonna make the best of everything for now. This could very well be a mistake too. Or rather, this is a mistake.. But it's not everyday that I can find someone who accepts and dotes on me for who I am. So why not make the fullest of life while I still can, right? :) (Yes I look like shit but I was waaasted after 3hrs of studying shit so yeppp.)

And yeah, haters. Go ahead and hate on me. Call me a bitch but I don't think there's much of a fuck I can give :) I'm moving on and I know I'll feel heartache every time someone leaves, why not be happy when I can, right?
You shouldn't judge me if you know nothing.

Ending here, so bye. Hope to be back soon :)

746.

2011-09-18T20:50:00.006+08:00

Spent my Saturday with Jonathan. Tuition first, then headed to J8. Bought our movie tickets, Caramel Milk Tea from Koi and Peanut Butter Waffles from a bakery nearby, then sat on benches and burnt time. Caught Johnny English at 7.15pm, it's a great movie so go watch it if you have the time, alright? :) Had Korean food for dinner and I bought this for myself, so I'm a happy kid for now..
Cried two wee hours of Sunday morning away, and maybe Wilson was the only one who noticed so quickly, and was the only one who bothered to give me a call and realize I was feeling terribly crappy. Thank you, bitch :) Despite the fact that you suddenly fell asleep at 4:30am in the morning during the silent phone call and I was left awake alone to cry myself to sleep at 5:00am in the morning...
Thank you.

Well, it's a Sunday night...
And here I am, feeling crappy as usual as the world happily burns it away. I hate nights like this, when I feel so lonely but no one ever seems there for me. I don't talk to people automatically anymore, because I know how busy people are.. And I don't wanna interrupt their lives. I mean, they have their problems to settle too, nobody has time for mine. So somehow, I'll be alright.

Let music be the remedy.

745. Hey there Delilah, what's it like in New York City?

2011-09-15T18:43:00.003+08:00

Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

"I'm a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do."
"Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side"

744. #Reblog.

2011-09-14T22:13:00.003+08:00

"Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another."

- Jim Butcher

"Sometimes when I look at you, I feel like I'm gazing at a distant star. It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Yet sometimes that light seems more real than anything."

- Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

This this this this this.

743.

2011-09-14T19:47:00.010+08:00

Hey there. I know I haven't been blogging and shit, but I'm feeling pretty crappy and exhausted of late, so... I guess it's almost time to go on a hiatus soon. I'm just here to address issues people have been having questions about. Well, I'll do it at the end of this post. Just a short one. Promise.

Monday: Horribly tiring first day of the term and I screwed up Chinese 默写 thingy because... well, I didn't revise well, simply. And I only have myself to blame for procrastinating too much. SSP after school, then there was tuition...
And I had to cry myself to sleep in the morning.

Tuesday: Felt terrible but tried to look alright... And it worked, until I was left alone and so many things came flooding to my mind. Thank you, everyone who was there for me, and Shermaine for the chocolates, in particular :') English timed practice after school was really sudden and my mood was ruined since I heard the announcement in the morning. Zhonghua is super cocked up, I swear.

Watched basketball inter-class games with a bunch of people and screamed for 3E1... Or should I say, Kenneth? Heheh :) I'm super biased I know. Get over it already k. Spent the late afternoon/ evening helping Krista out with her art, and did some catching up... Yep :) Homed late, but that's okie.

Oh and... side note, 3E5 girls didn't perform very well for the games if I'm not wrong? But the guys won a couple of matches and got into the finals :) Good job though. I think my like/ love for this class will grow. Yay.

Wednesday (today): School as per normal and I felt like shit on and off today, tears welled up every now and then but I didn't cry so, good job, Elaine :) A male teacher came in to our class this morning and announced to us, "3E5, class of the term... again." That ignited screams and cheers. Awesomeness. Checked the LCD screen at the main staircase and we have 176 class points :o Hehe.

Talked a lot to the people in my row today after school, and they don't fail to make me laugh, honestly :) Jim, Julian and Xinyi are prolly the people I love most in 3E5 right now, though we don't text and everything.. But that's okie.
-----

And to address what I was initially here for, yes, it's true. Shijie and I broke up. And it's also Facebook official. Before you people come start pointing fingers about who's the baddie here, let me just say this right here, right now -- you don't know shit, you don't know what we both feel, you don't know what we both have been going through, so you don't have the rights to judge.

I've heard some people talking about this matter, and you know what, I'm actually completely fine with it because haters are gonna hate. Besides, I know my own story so say what you all want, alright? We just know it might not be the entire truth. I believe Shijie and I both have our sides of the story, but respect the fact that we both agreed on this (although it sucks and everything, but yeah)...

I'm not gonna bother telling my granny story here because it's too long, and since I'm done with this chapter in my life, I'm gonna move on and not harp on the past anymore. At least, I know I'll try to. So don't bother come asking me "What happened?!" or "You okay?!"

Because... my answers to those questions will be something along the lines of, "Oh, nothing. Didn't work out" and "Yeah I'm fine :D Don't worry", if we're not close. If we're close (or were close) I might just tell you.. For old times' sake. You can say that I'm avoiding these questions, but I don't care. And maybe, just maybe, yes I am avoiding things. Because that's how I moved on from my past as well.

Bye, I don't see why I actually owe anyone any explanations anyway.

(No need to read this.)

And you. Thanks for the 498 days of memories and dramas. Yes, I counted. And thank you for teaching me how to grow. The drama we've been through has kinda made me a tougher person, and I think I know how to better manage my emotions compared to before. These sixteen months together were filled with good and bad memories, and I'm thankful for every single second we've had, so... please be happy, even if I'm not yours anymore :)
-----

Heck yeah, it hurt a whole shit load but that's alright. I'm trying to persuade myself I won't regret this, and that I'll move on, one way or another. Saying I'm okie allows me to shrug off all the questions that people pose to me, so I guess that's what I'll do, even if I'm feeling like shit inside.

Because there's no point in breaking down in front of people who prolly don't actually care. Save your little crocodile tears for someone else, sweethearts. I think I've been through enough, so I'm just gonna remain tough and pull through everything myself. As usual. I think.

Elaine has to be strong. :)

Also, thank you, to these specific people, in no particular order: Jonathan, Shermaine, Krista, Xinyi, Bernard, Julian, Jim, Sherlyn, Raphael and Xiuwei :)

742. I'll be a fragment of your past.

2011-09-11T20:43:00.014+08:00

Something that almost made my day today:
Hey there. I've been feeling pretty awful for the whole of today.. I have a LOT of work, honestly, and I haven't even touched half of the amount. Adding on to that, I even have overdue homework that I owe my teacher(s). Today's Sunday. Which means tomorrow is Monday. Which also means...... well, I'm screwed.

I attempted to complete my homework today, but looking at a whole list of it over and over and trying to decide what to start on first, really isn't very encouraging. I mean, why don't you look ._.-----

(Spoiler for rant)

I've been thinking a whole lot today. Currently, life's a whole damn lot of bullshit... So here I am again, wondering why I let myself go through all the drama and heartache, and still remain so open and accepting to everything people say about me, when I can jolly well settle with better people, better things, and let myself lead a slightly better, slightly happier life.

It seems that this whole relationship is slipping out of my hands.. For some reason, I'm not that much surprised by it. Initially, yes. But now? I don't feel that astonishment. I'm guessing that my senses saw this coming, and my mind was preparing my heart for it. And definitely, it hurt a whole fuckload that I don't know what I can do as I watch everything happen. Or no, wait. Nothing's happening. Perhaps all I can do now is sit and wait... Then deal with the heartache and wait for more of them.

See? It kinda just seems that way. Whoever gets close to me, will end up leaving my side one way or another, whether they like it or not. And I'm forever the one being left behind, slowly choking on my own sorrow and self-pity.

And today, I felt my heart fall again. Perhaps the bond between two people can never be completely destroyed, or can it? If two people were once in a relationship, can their love ever go away? A lot more was on my mind today as compared to every other day. I thought about my past and the present, even the near future. And I'm beginning to wonder, was everything a mistake? It seems like a lot of decisions have led me to regrets today. Maybe myself getting into relationships were mistakes. Maybe attaching myself to people emotionally were mistakes. Because it hurt so bad when I tried to detach myself from them. Maybe this is what I've been trying to do every single damn day. Without a doubt, people learn from mistakes. But me? I'm that one stupid fella who never does. I'm that one who blindly heads for trouble despite the fact that I know it hurts. Yeah, I'm that stupid one.

Getting together with C was a mistake. Maybe getting together with S is a mistake, too. I'm guessing it was about me giving out chances, giving out too many of them. And the smallest possibility of me ever getting together with J? I think that's another mistake I'm about to make. I think I have the right to be with whoever makes me happy and feel loved. But then again, if I do, I'm indirectly asking for another heartbreak.

Because after S leaves like C left, J will be next to go. And I'll be left all alone once again. Everyone has their own lives, definitely. But I'm that kinda person who needs company. When you return in a couple of years' time, you'll probably have someone else.
And I'll just be a fragment of your past, just like I'm a part of everyone else's.

Ok bye.

741. Paintball event + Zhonghua's 100th Anniversary dinner!

2011-09-10T23:59:00.007+08:00

It's a minute to midnight. And, just to update my blog about recent happenings, here I am to blog again. This could very well be one of my last posts before I go on hiatus for a bit. But it's an unlikely thing to happen because... I can never abandon my blog for long, somehow :/

Tuesday was stay-home Tuesday.

Wednesday? I went to J's for a study session and then to Plaza Singapura but got no loots apart from 2 belts for $15 :( Note to self... In future, head to Plaza Singapura for shopping, pretty clothes and accessories available for grabs :)

Shooting girls went for paintball event on Thursday morning at Red Dynasty, over at Bottle Tree park. Lovely place, really. I mean, the park.. :) Paintball is fun and all, I didn't get shot though 8D But judging from the bruises a lot of the others got, it also hurts like a bitch :x Miss Nisha got shot in the neck, Aqilah got shot in the back of her head, Jessie got shot in the leg multiple times :x Oh yeah, a couple of teachers joined us.. Miss Zhong, Miss Nisha, Mdm Irni and some other pretty and young female teacher ^^ And a couple of pictures...
(All picture credits for this go to Mr Heng, btw.)

Lunched with Papa at J8's Din Tai Fung! :) I wanted Swensens but the queue was too long, so meh... :( Anyone wanna head out for baked rice sometime? I've been craving for some recently. Tuition after an afternoon nap.. When was the last time I had one? Back in Primary school, maybe.

Friday was THE ultimate busy day. Woke up late and met up with Jon, who came down to Toa Payoh to meet me! Many thanks X) Headed to Far East Plaza for shopping because Zhonghua's 100th Anniversary dinner was that very night, and I didn't get my dress until in the afternoon ._.

Walked around Far East until my feet hurt and I had blisters on them, but I got myself a black dress at $30! :) There's a Malay (or Indian, idk) couple (or father and daughter, idk) with a new shop on the ground level and they're really nice people! And next time if any of you need clothes for formal occasions, go check their shop, I didn't note the name though :x

Oh and I also got a necklace! And Jon gave me a pretty pair of earrings, yay :> I'm thankful. Thankful for having someone this awesome, who dotes on me this much even though we haven't known each other for an awfully long time. But it's too bad that.......... okie never mind. Lo and behold, the earrings! But this picture doesn't do justice to the beauty of it.

I spent awhile contemplating whether or not I should enter a hairdresser's at Far East and let them style my hair for the event.. But they prolly charged over $30 and it'd take awhile, so I dropped the idea. Haaa :x Rushed home after 4pm to get changed and drop my things off, then headed out!

Met up with everyone at City Hall and walked over to Swissotel, had a great time :D Everyone looked fabulous and most ladies were wearing heels, but I brainwashed Shermaine into wearing flats with me. Three cheers for me please! 8D Shared a table with Shermaine, Siyu, Charlotte, Rebekah, Tinghong, Bernard, Alphonsus and Calvin, and it was pretty fun throughout! :) Except Calvin looked pretty emo nemo the entire time ._.

Oh and... there was a moment during the dinner when I was chewing a big prawn, then I looked across the table and saw Tinghong trying really hard to pick up the slippery prawn with his chopsticks. I had the same issue. In fact, I dropped my prawn thrice. HAHA. And anyway, when he finally picked it up, he bent down really slowly to his plate, and then slowly opened his mouth and stuffed the whole damn large prawn into his mouth :O

Okie I couldn't stand how hilarious that looked so I laughed, choked on my prawn and a piece of it flew out of my mouth. LOLL. Shit happens, Charlotte saw this and I almost died laughing upon realization XD Fuckkkkk and it was like, Charlotte and I were the only ones laughing our heads off at that moment ._. And I still can't forget how hilarious/ epic that instant was! Priceless :O

Anyway, I took a picture with Shawn, together with Siyu and Shermaine! :> I'm officially his fangirl.. I think. Or maybe not. He's so cute :3 MRT'ed back with Shermaine on the red line and a stupid Indian was pissing us off big time. Okie actually he was pissing me off. Wow if I had a pin I'd fucking stab him in the ass, through his thick jeans and underwear. Bitch.

But shit aside... Yummy food, awesome company, great fun. I guess 9/9 was pretty enjoyable n___n And just for the sake of it, a couple of pictures from during the dinner~ There are actually a few more in my phone but I'm not uploading them because I'm lazy. Yay me.

Oh and Zhonghua and PM Lee are on the newspapers, and the internet! Here's the article online: Government will create many paths to success for students. Not that I've read it, but still... Lol :x Oh and my dad saw the article in the newspaper too~ Seems like this was quite a big deal o.O

Today: Slept in, then went for afternoon tuition and then studied at Mac's for a little bit. Tried the Horlicks Crunch McFlurry and it's mad awesome 8D !! So gonna buy it again next time~ And I saw Shawn at Gardens, and we took the same bus omg omg omg. *starts spazzing*

OH WAIT. K BYE ABRUPT ENDING~
And I don't know when's the next time I'll blog. Meh :(

740. Your name, forever the name on my lips.

2011-09-08T23:45:00.000+08:00

Taylor Swift - Last Kiss (Boyce Avenue and Megan & Liz acoustic cover)

"I do recall now, the smell of the rain,
fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane.
That July ninth, the beat of your heart,
it jumps through your shirt,
I can still feel your arms.

But now I'll go, sit on the floor,
wearing your clothes.
All that I know is I don't know,
how to be something you miss."

Current favourite song ;) Recommendation from Jonathan, and I think this cover is amazing so I'm listening to it over and over. Oh and I think the original is pretty damn awesome too, so don't forget to listen to it :B

P.S.: PAINTBALL EVENT WITH THE SHOOTING GIRLS TODAY WAS DA BOMB ;)
P.P.S.: 100th anniversay gala dinner is tomorrow! ~~And I haven't bought my dress yet!~~

739. #Reblog.

2011-09-06T03:38:00.008+08:00

I kinda need a break.
“Don’t do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts.”

— Henry Rollins

“I know we can't be together, but I just like to dream.”

It's 3.45am in the morning. I should be asleep, but on nights like this, thoughts of people never fail to occupy my mind.. All I do is stay awake and think of everything I've been through, and usually this isn't by choice. I had a nightmare a couple of days back, and it pained me so much I couldn't help but feel like shit.

I have people telling me I'm mature for my age. First I'm happy, but now that I think about it, it might actually be a bad thing. I think a lot. Actually, maybe a little too much for my own good. It's what results in me being unhappy so often. And those smiles? They're real, definitely. But there are people who actually are able to see through them.

I just realized: I've been putting up this front for so long that I'm actually believing this is actually real... And just when someone came along and enlightened me, time begins to travel at the speed of light (not literally) and it's almost time for another someone else to leave.

What can I say? People come and go, they enter and leave my life, I can't hold it against them for it. But for one, I'm really thankful for everyone who has been there. When the day comes when you have to leave, too, remember that I'm thankful towards you for all the good and bad times we have shared. I knew that someday, this day would come, because nothing lasts forever.

And my believing in you was probably a mistake I've been dragging on for too long.

Goodnight.
P.S.: Good luck to N level candidates :)

738.

2011-09-05T22:20:00.004+08:00

Hiiiii I think neglecting my blog is becoming a really bad habit :( When I have the time to blog, I can't find shit to type here. And on the contrary, when I have loads and loads to blog about, I can't find the time to blog. This is shit :(

Okie my brother came into my room and lay on my table when I had the mood to blog. I'm playing Taylor Swift's 'Last Kiss' on repeat, and now he's asleep beside my laptop as a result :> So now I'm gonna start my blog post. (I'm suddenly wondering if I should edit my blog again, as in the fonts and layout and all. Maybe change it to something plain with prettier fonts? Would you all prefer that?)

Friday was fun :D Met J in the afternoon and went around to look for my dress! Headed to Hougang from Punggol, and then to Kovan and finally Serangoon. Saw two pretty dresses at Kovan, they looked like prom dresses! :P Wanted to get the one with a golden ribbon but it was sized XS, and was too small for me. In fact, it was almost choking me, super tight at the chest area, so meh I didn't get it.

Other dresses weren't anything I fancied, or that they were too pricey :( Plus my heart was on the 'prom dress' :P Headed to Serangoon and had Long John's for dinner! I swear I am so in love with their Salmon dinner set. Actually I've always loved salmon so... yep ;) Walked around Nex for eons after, then homed pretty damn late :o

This was my Saturday.
Headed to Nex to meet up with Siyu (and her friends) after tuition and we walked around searching for a dress but to no avail :/ Bused down to Pasir Ris for Krista's birthday chalet! :D What can I say, it was fun and people got drunk... Ahem. Wanted to stay over, but (obviously) my dad didn't allow it. Left Pasir Ris late, Ruiwen's dad drove Lixin and myself home! Awesome ^^

Woke up late on Sunday, slept in because I felt like shit due to menstrual cramps...... lol it hurt like a bitch okay, plus I think I have every right to talk about it openly here. So, mhm :x J texted me saying there was some Pet Park thing going on at Hougang Mall so I made it there despite hurting like a bitch lol :| BUT I SURVIVED.

Apparently Wilson was in the area and decided to escort me from the MRT to the food court so... thanks. (And obviously you can see how forced this is, but I don't wanna be labelled an ungrateful wretch so, ta-da.) >___> ;; Met up with B and J (oh lol I just thought of Ben & Jerry's!! But no) and attempted to study. Went to look at the animals first though, then B left first ._.

Oh and I must say the little animals there at the mall were mad adorable!! :3 I almost died looking at the bunny ^^ And they were grooming some poodles and they had a hamster race! But I was upstairs studying at Subway so I didn't notice much, lol. Bought myself a pair of pink ribbon earstuds from some shop, yay :> And I'm gonna wear them during the holidays. I think.

Today was boring shit so I'm not gonna elaborate.
Home > Physics SSP > Home > Serangoon Gardens. That's all -.-

Okie here's an abrupt ending to my post, cheers and happy holidays! :)

737. Hi September.

2011-09-01T21:23:00.003+08:00

Well, the usual.

It's September and today marks a brand new month. And to start off, Happy Teacher's Day to all the teachers out there! :) And in particular, the teachers who guided me back when I was in Kheng Cheng, as well as a couple of teachers at Zhonghua. But still, no I'll never like Zhonghua as a whole, anyway. Forever a Kheng Cheng kid ;)

Also, happy 17th birthday to my brother, who won't see this so I'll just leave it at this, rather than posting an entire mushy post for him. Meh :) Happy 16th birthday to you too, Wilson! You'll probably see this so flatten that ego for once and thank me! :B And I'm sorry I couldn't turn up for your BBQ earlier this evening. So last-minute k. And I have no present for you so... meh :]

I'm hoping September will be good.
1. Teacher's Day/ E-learning day
2. One week holiday :>
3. Paintball event with Shooting girls
4. Zhonghua's 100th Anniversary Dinner
5. Start of End-of-Year Examinations :(

School went rather fine today, unexpectedly. I went to school in slippers, thinking that if I wore shoes and didn't expose my toe, it wouldn't look convincing that I have a condition and that I'd be forced to run :( I have an in-grown toenail and my toe bleeds like a bitch every time I kick it into something! Sucks to be me. Anyway, there were many people in uniform! :O And they all didn't run. Damn. Sat aside anyway, and cheered for 3E5 and some random people I happened to notice when they ran by :) Hehe, fun stuff.

The concert was pretty damn awesome, I must admit. I mean, how can it not be awesome when 3E5 performed? :D I wanted to give school a miss but how could I EVER miss the dance?! Plus I wanted to show my love/ moral support/ enthusiasm X) So that was what I did. I wanted to do my homework but I guess the concert kept me engaged so... yeah :|

Rushed work after dismissal though, and I think I made it in time to hand it up :] Joined Clare, Gracia and Xinyi at Subway after, and then we headed to Clare's to do e-learning without Gracia.

Oh and something really epic happened at Nex. We walked out of the lift the wrong side, and another bunch of students entered. Upon realizing the mistake, Clare ran back and punched repeatedly at the button so the lift door suddenly opened and we had to walk past the random people, mad embarrassing! -___- The worst part? We actually walked an entire round to reach the side of the lift we initially stepped out to, then continued from there.

Crap I'm gonna avoid going out with Clare in future. LOL.

Anyway, we did the assignment in parts, so the other two people were idle while one was at work. And while Clare was still working on her part of it, I fell asleep on her bed. For a whole hour .______. ;; Oops. And waking up an hour later, Xinyi told me I agreed to swap my work with her such that I was gonna be last to do it. I don't make sense out of people when I'm half-awake, half-asleep, so I don't remember that even happening. LOL.

Okie bye I'm ending this post abruptly, my dad just kinda pissed me off earlier...
Meh.

736. Goodbye August.

2011-08-31T23:56:00.003+08:00

Look how fast time has passed, and it's the end of another month. Oh well. And here's a quick sum-up of my entire month, although it prolly isn't much anyway. But it's always good, 'cause at least I'll do a little reflection about how I've lived the past month. But really, I don't like how time's slipping away so quickly :(

1. National Day Celebrations
2. Dance competitions: 3E5 won
3. Excursion to Chinese Heritage Centre
4. Shopping trip with Shermaine #1
5. Excursion to Land Transport Authority
6. Combat Pistol Course with Shooting Girls
7. Shopping trip with Shermaine #2
8. Shopping trip with Shermaine #3 (today!) :D

Didn't blog about today yet! Yep, I'll do it like, soon~ Felt like shit in the morning today but oh well. Had a talk with Siyu during recess today and I honestly felt better after I cried my sorrows out a little bit :) And with people like Xinyi and other lovely people to show me their love and concern, how do I not feel better? :)

Shopping with Shermaine after school today, went to Toa Payoh Central again in search of our apparels for the upcoming dinner 8D Conclusion: Toa Payoh is a good place to shop for shoes and other cheap stuff ^^

We both bought similar tops for $14, Shermaine bought herself a bag at $29.90, I bought mine for $39.90! :D Heart pain money fly, but I guess it's worth it!! :B Oh and we both got a pair of flats each for $19.90. Hehehe, #happykids96!

I swear I'm in love with my purchases! :D
Lmao okie I'm gonna end here abruptly because I have a whole essay to write, it's 0111 in the morning and I haven't even started LOL. But that's okie, I'll start now! :>

LOVEZSXC Y' ALL MANY MANY K :)
And no it doesn't matter if no one reads anymore >___> ;;

735.

2011-08-30T18:33:00.003+08:00

I'm running in a never-ending circle in rounds and rounds. I'll stop when I reach a corner... Which probably doesn't exist, anyway.

I guess it's human nature to be a part of this rat race that we don't even know exists. We're going on and on, fighting and fighting, pushing on to reach a goal we always set for ourselves. But once we reach that goal, we almost immediately have a new one. That's how humans are -- we run this rat race. We keep going and going, and it seems like we're never satisfied for long with what we have in our hands.

Slow down, take a deep breath and let take things at a different pace. Maybe you'll find a little meaning in what you're doing. But I honestly think it's difficult, because I'm running out of time, really. Can I buy time? Because I would if I could.

This is getting really tiring.....

But for now, time to get some work done.
Pocky will be there for me. For a little while :)

734. #Reblog.

2011-08-29T00:52:00.005+08:00

It's 0052 in the morning and this is very random, but I was just looking around on Tumblr and found some funny shit so I'm here to reblooog! :B There were too many hilarious posts that are praiseworthy but here are a couple that made me laugh-out-loud. And yes, kinda like, literally LOL in front of my lappy screen :P

Okie the torso one seemed a little disturbing somehow but whatever, I'm off to bed :)

733.

2011-08-28T13:39:00.008+08:00

And so I told myself how much I've been neglecting my blog lately. The guilt eventually got to me, and it bothered me so much -- how I prolly already missed out details in my life because I haven't been blogging proper posts since eons ago. And so here I am again on a Sunday afternoon, pushing my lunch aside and promising myself I'm blogging again this break.

Well, I'll start from a couple of days ago, and I'll bet that I'm missing out a lot of elaboration and details because those pieces of memories aren't fresh in my mind anymore. Sigh :(

Thursday, 25 August 2011:
Combat Pistol Course over at National Shooting Centre. It's our last gun course together as the shooting girls :( Really saddening, but it's a fact. What upsets me even more is that we're only the FOURTH but last batch of shooters in the school. Ugh what the fuck is wrong with the school. Pfft...

Anyway, Papa actually didn't want me to go for the course because I was a little unwell, but I insisted on it because... well, what other reasons were there? It was pretty much the last session we had together :( And Mr Heng, too, said that we shouldn't skip the course no matter what.. Anyway, I had fun :)
My target board of 6x6 shots! Apparently one shot flew because there are only 35 holes on the target... *coughs* We shot from a distance of 10m with both hands, right hand, then left hand. And from distances of 15m, 20m and 25m :) And each exercise was 6 shots.
My favourite girls from the CCA :') I don't have a picture with Lulu (Jessie) :(

Well, Thursday was mad fun :) Combat pistol was awesome, except the recoil scared me on the first shot and I nearly fell backwards :x I gasped in shock. Literally. And Aqilah could see me breathe in hard right after I fired the shot, lol! But it was great experience nevertheless :) Anddd! I got first! :D Followed by Jessie and Beatrice in second and third. I got a really heavy pistol keychain from Mr Heng! Awesomenesssss ^^

Friday, 26 August 2011:
Shopping trip with Shermaine right after school! Okie we stupidly went over to Bishan J8 hoping we could find a pretty brown vintage bag but we were wrong :( Maaan fine it was my fault for telling her there were pretty stuff. *self-deceit*

Back to Nex after but she didn't get any loot :( I got myself a dress for the upcoming dinner and two cardigans. Looked around for bags but it was a futile attempt, because the pretty bags we saw weren't sling bags. And the pretty bags we saw that were sling bags were too expensive -.-

So y' know what, I'm fucking raising my budget for a bag to $40/$50!
SHERMAINE, LET'S FUCKING GO SHOPPING AGAIN! LOL.

Saturday, 27 August 2011:
Headed for tuition late and came back to Toa Payoh after. Headed to Mac near Toa Payoh Library to get some work done and shelter from the rain. An excuse to sit down and take a break, actually :P Did a little Math, chatted with study buddy and laughed a lot over stupid shit. I like days like these..

Oh and then we walked on around Toa Payoh Central, I have kinda decided on a pair of shoes that I wanna wear to the dinner :) Casual formal flats that is simple yet cute, I like. Thought about the dress I bought and I think it's kinda casual, wondering if I should get a new outfit altogether... MEH :( But it wasn't a lot of money so, whatever :x Hehe. Oh and I saw a super pretty bag at Wear Studio for $29.90... TO BUY OR NOT TO BUY?!

I'm in search of a brown/ black/ grey/ cream-colored/ light-tone colored vintage squarey bag, anyone know where I can get one for less than $30 or something? :( I'm poor :( Ahhh I have lots of shopping to do. And I think my money is beginning to decrease exponentially. (Can things actually work like that?) Damn.
-----

All things in life aside, how's everyone? :) Week 10 of school is reduced to only a full day on Wednesday, and even though it's the day with the worst timetable during the week, I'm pretty sure I might be able to live through it, what about you? Oh and there are Teacher's Day celebrations on Thursday, during which the 3E5 dance group will be performing! I kinda can't wait to see them ^^

And after Week 10, we're gonna have our well-deserved week-long break, does anyone wanna head out with me and study during that time? :x Don't answer me, I'm guessing no. But that's okie. I think life's kinda hectic now, and the break's just in time because for a period of time recently I keep feeling like I'm about to break down and it was fucking awful :(

Random thoughts for thought:

The life that an average Singaporean leads is sickening. I mean, it's moving at a hastened pace. Am I the only one who thinks this way? Sit anywhere outside on a street in the city area of Singapore, and you'll realize how quickly everyone is walking. Nobody bothers to slow down and take in the beautiful sights of our island. Or rather, nobody has the time, because they're forever cramming things to fill out their schedules, trying to make the fullest of their lives. But one thing people don't realize is that the important little details are actually around them -- in other people, daily little things, and the surroundings.

Why not slow down the pace at which you're moving, take some time to relax? Maybe you'll slowly but eventually find whatever seems to be missing since eons ago? Take a deep breath, observe whatever goes by in your life. It'll probably be an interesting sight.

Because I'm gonna try that too...

Well, till next time. Ciao :)

P.S.: Happy birthday to my blog, you're officially 3 years old! Thank you so fucking much for being there, holding every piece of memory that I decided to pen down as a part of my life. And I'll continue to do so until... I don't know when. And someday, I'll look back on these posts and realize how much I've changed over the years. Happy 3 years of memories in 733 posts to this date, iam-elainee.bs.com :)

732. I want you here forever.

2011-08-27T23:46:00.001+08:00

David Choi - By My Side

"I just wanna hold you,
I just wanna kiss you,
I just wanna love you all my life.
I normally wouldn't say this,
but I just can't contain it.
I want you here forever,
right here by my side."

This.

I never get tired of David Choi's voice. It kinda calms me down when I feel fucked up and everything. Grateful for amazing music, yay :') It's nice to be listening to his song(s) when life seems too much to handle. It's like, someone's there to sing you a song till you fall asleep. Comforting, no?

Life's a little too hectic right now.

731. There's a fine line.

2011-08-26T01:47:00.005+08:00

Can't believe it's 0147 in the morning now and here I am typing this. But I'm just pretty damn fucking annoyed at what's going on right now. And since I don't have readers anymore, really, what's there to fear? Chemistry test is in about five hours' time and I haven't even studied. Or taken a nap.

It's Friday and I'm gonna be mad exhausted, but you know what? I might make myself live on all my anger and disappointment. I guess I don't quite have the right to, but I'm feeling pissed now.

You want something, sweetie, come talk to my face. We WERE close. I don't like sneaky people. As a matter of fact, I really hate people who do shit behind my back. I mean, really? Grow the hell up, we're fifteen, not five. Settle things the mature way, god damn it.

And just because I don't draw a clear line doesn't mean you get to fucking climb all over me and take advantage of me just because I'm (occasionally) nice and forgiving at times. Females forget, but they don't forgive. I'm a little of both, actually.

But that's besides the point. I know you WILL read this. And don't you fucking cross that line and pass my limits, because I don't have tolerance for such junk. You may approach NOT me for clarification. Do what you deem is right.

You know what? Fuck this, I'm tired of everything.

If it's something I can do, let me run away and disappear. I'm not a believer of God, and I'm not religious. So I won't count on any deity or yada to save me. Time will prove everything and unveil truths -- and whether or not things were meant to be from the start.

Peace out, bitches. xoxo

730. #Reblog.

2011-08-24T20:11:00.002+08:00

“Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.”

— William Saroyan

Haters gonna hate.

729.

2011-08-24T19:16:00.005+08:00

Feeling very under the weather these couple of days. I miss Mr Boh, I remember how he always uses that phrase. I think it has been years since I last saw him :( Those were the days. If I go back to Kheng Cheng again, I bet everything will look so small :') Back to the point -- I'm currently running a fever of 38 degrees Celsius :(

Braced myself and went to school today, anyway. What for, you must be wondering. It's 'cause 3E5 had an excursion to Land Transport Authority Gallery thingy today, and I pretty much treated it like a class outing so I was rather eager to go :x

School as per normal and it sucked for the past couple of days, too, because I felt giddy and nauseous and both my stomach and head hurt. Sucks to be me, damn :( Oh but I lunched at Nex yesterday with Clare, Clarissa, Jon and Xinyi! :) My second time at Mad Jack, and the next time I (ever) go back there I'm gonna eat their baked rice again +w+ Lunch time was fuuuuun with them n___n Cute people are awesome entertainment.

OH and, this is gonna be a series of pictures because my energy's drained and I have a lot to do today :( But I love my readers (who prolly all disappeared) so here I am blogging instead of resting. My dad's gonna kill me if he finds out... but yeah :x

Pictures!
We had a short walk in the gallery at LTA and these were (most of) the pictures taken. Lazy to upload the rest, mhm :/ Disregard my messy hair and horrible look this afternoon, I'm ill so I think I have every right to look crappy 8D I have no idea why my face was so red though..

And yes I'm kinda putting a lot of pictures here out of guilt, I feel like I neglected my blog :( Oh and I feel wasted, I've been burning a lot of time away lately :( Need to buy time.....

Might go MIA, bye :(
(I'll try to blog, no promises though!)

728. Tell me how to be okay.

2011-08-21T18:47:00.002+08:00

Hello there :) I know I haven't been blogging in the longest time. Damn, five days? Excluding Thursday's, because it wasn't even quite a decent post. Well, looks like I'm running out of time. Everyday's just so busy and I can't find that much anymore :( Fuck this is bad.

Anyway, the HCL students went on a trip to the Chinese Heritage Centre thingy. I was kinda looking forward to some fun but apparently it sucked more than any other trip I've been on. So much for being excited. But okie here's a picture, I took it for the sake of my blog :x So, I guess it's kinda apparent that my blog has been on my mind despite my hectic schedule eh? Meh ._.
Friday was one of the better Fridays I had :) School was merely so-so, and I actually don't remember much about it because I'm just kinda busy of late :( And I'm trying to squeeze a lot of knowledge into my brain. Add in having to remember what has to be done, and my busy schedule, and song lyrics, and, well there's just so much :O

Mdm Jiang was exceptionally nice on Friday :) We had SSP but she dismissed us 30mins earlier than the scheduled timing. Whoa whoa, big surprise :P Returned to class, talked to Xinyi a little and ordered stuff online! Yay :D Well time to lose some weight, I'm fucking fat :$ Rawr.

Met up with Shermaine shortly after, then we crashed at my place! :D Chatted in my room for almost an hour, then we headed down to Toa Payoh Central to shopppppppppp ;) There were a lot of clothes I wanted to get but apparently I forgot where the specific shops were located/ the clothes were out of stock/ they seemed different from what I first seemingly pictured them as :( But anyway, we got loots! Although not many, ahem. HAPPYKIDS96! :D
Okie I don't have a picture of Shermaine's, but here are mine :)
Ignore the rabbits thanks.Black denim shorts: ~~$12~~ $10. Favourite buy of the day :D
Braided belt: $4. Mad cheap.
Union Flag Crop top: $10.
Faded denim blue shorts: $10 (or something, I forgot).

The last one was an impulse buy and has a slight defect but it's not obvious (as long as you have a shirt that covers the button), anyone wanna buy it off me at a cheaper price? :x It's a size 29, fits me fine but I don't like how it feels on me :( Oh and it can't be buttoned..... #regret.

Oh and I bought a metallic dim blue comb at $1.20, Ta Zhiang doesn't have the black one I've been using since forever, I don't know why! :( SAD KID. Fuck I shoulda bought more in the past..... I keep losing my combs! :(

Anyway, I'm selling stuff off I guess. Next post! :)

How was your Saturday? It's Sunday today and I'm burning it off even though I kinda have a whole mountain of work waiting for me :( Shoot me please. My tutor can't make it to tutor me again, but that's okie. Gotta do work soon :( Late for tuition half an hour yesterday, then headed to Punggol... DON'T EVER TAKE 136 FROM GARDENS TO PUNGGOL OKIE. I swear your fingers will turn numb if the bus is cold like the one I was on. And my ass numbed too :/

Anyway, spent my evening there and went to Kovan's Heartland Mall for dinner! :) Cosmos Cuisine or something, I don't remember. Spaghetti + Chicken Chop in Mushroom creamy thingy, and Iced Milo! My meal costed me $8.30, and I couldn't finish it :( But meh, whatever. Anyone wanna go there wimme some other day? I kinda wanna try their Fish & Chips for myself :P Although I took a bite of it yesterday but I couldn't get the full taste because the cream in my spaghetti was reallyyyyy strong.....
(Sorry this picture doesn't make the food look appetizing LOL. It was 9pm and I just wanted to EAT.)
Okie I'm gonna go work on my other post now.
Bit by bit, no? Plus I need some time... Okie whatever I'm just gonna sell two pieces off first. And maybe I'll clear more stuff out during the next holidays. Or something. RAWR IDK BYE. And I don't know when my next update is gonna be... :(
You can check my Twitter for updates though, frequent ones! :) Yes that's another way in which you can stalk me. Follow me follow me! *waves her own imaginary Elaine flag*

Muacks, bye!

P.S.: Small selling post below this one!

727. Selling post 1.

2011-08-21T17:49:00.013+08:00

1. Avenue faded shorts: $8
Written on tag 30 but cutting is small, should fit 27/28/29.
2. Weipeng faded denim shorts: $8
Tagged size 29.
Slight defect: Can't be buttoned because there's no button hole. Yep, my impulse buy =___= ;; Should be okie if you wear a shirt or thick enough belt that covers it though :)

3. Random white Hang Ten top: $(idk.)
Tagged size XL. Worn once, eons ago, and I don't like it =___=

Don't ask me why the colours are so weird :( Colour of the actual item is true to the image on the bottom right. Oh and you can click to zoom, duh ._. I have lots of junk in my wardrobe and honestly I have no idea how some of them got there o___o ;;

Items with tags on are brand new, of course. And those without prolly got their tags ripped off so my parents wouldn't know the price but I decided not to wear them eventually :x In perfect condition otherwise stated. Qyop for items without prices. Oh prices are negotiable, and you can contact me for more pictures :)

Email/ MSN: e.laine-@hotmail.com
Formspring: elaineeez
Mobile: 8268 7323 (Whatsapp/ Viber/ SMS/ Calls)
Tagboard: (On the right of my blog.)
Twitter: _elainez

Okie bye I might dig up more stuff in future.
Like during the holidays or something lol.

726. But it's empty.

2011-08-18T23:52:00.004+08:00

The Click Five - Empty

"Maybe we're trying,
trying to hard.
Maybe we're torn apart.
Maybe the timing
is beating our hearts.

We're empty."

I'm sorry I'm blogging lesser lately :(

725.

2011-08-16T19:59:00.005+08:00

EXACTLY how I feel all the time.

The weather was fucking fantastic yesterday! :D And I was feeling high. It was the first (but hopefully not the last) Monday that ever went well for me. Strong winds blew the whole day and I didn't perspire. Not a single bit ;) Lessons were alright, but people were falling asleep everywhere. Everyone except me. I guess that's weird.

Physics SPA after school and it was easy for once :) Training wasn't much of a pain in the ass and we handled our pistols for once since a long time ago. I kinda miss wielding a pistol :( Skipped tuition after because it was still drizzling and I'll never walk in the rain. Oh and the weather was too perfect for anything like that :3

Slacked with Ruiwen, Siyu and Wanqing at canteen I guess. They were homeworking, but maybe my appearance distracted them... Well I wouldn't know :> Back to class after, and talked a lotttttttttt to Siyu :) Nostalgia! I miss having h2h sessions like that :(
Oh and Kukupartner gave me this! Thank you baby :)
Today sucked ass I swear. Spent hours last night just finishing up my corrections because I scored 64/100 for a recent Chengyu test. Mdm Jiang is kinda psychotic. REALLY =___= For every mistake we made, we had to copy it ten times, plus the sentence that came with it, TEN TIMES. So I wrote till my fingers numbed :(

And I woke up feeling AND looking worse than a zombie today. Walked to the mirror and I never saw myself look more horrible than I did this morning -- bloodshot puffy eyes with dark eye rings and eyebags, together with a head of bad hair :( Fml I swear :( Was mad tired when I headed to school... And then there was debate during morning assembly, but I slept through it ~~and I think I drooled a little, thank god no one saw though, lololol!~~ :B

Oh and we got back our English common tests today, and I did unexpectedly well ^^ I feel achieved this once. My story was super lame though, yet Mdm Irni kinda praised me. Oh and she remembers the introduction I wrote at the start of the year. I wrote that I have a blog, and she mentioned that this morning while talking to me about my work.

I hope she isn't reading this at this juncture.

Anyway, the rest of my day was kinda bleh, too. Lessons as usual, and there was nothing on after school. Slacked with Ruiwen, then went to the hall to watch auditions for the upcoming Teacher's Day concert :) Oh and the performances from the Sec 2s were kinda... meh. I'm in no position to comment but I admire how they have the guts to go up the stage unprepared. I'd never be able to do that, ever ._.

I kinda regret going to watch the auditions, though. Spoiler :( Plus I ended up coming home a lot later than I kinda planned.. But that's okie, I can't undo things.

Those aside, I just realized (again) that it's already mid-August :( The most nightmarish year of secondary school life is gonna come soon. But before that, we're gonna have our end-of-year exams. And I'm really not prepared. So to speak, I'm screwed if I don't start studying.
Which I probably won't, anyway.....

I'll probably force myself to rest more though, and at least complete my homework as much as I can. So I'll probably start neglecting my blog starting from mid-September? I have no idea. But it's not like I have many people reading my blog anyway, so that's okie, right? :$ (Yes I'm aware there are readers.) I'll still try to blog any interesting junk though! Or reblog posts off Tumblr or at least update this space every now and then .___.

Mm so I guess that's all for now, ciao! :)

724. #Reblog.

2011-08-14T16:54:00.005+08:00

"The rest of your life is a long time and whether you know it or not it’s being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices. Or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world. That’s just the way it is. But for the most part, you get what you give."

- One Tree Hill

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next."

- Gilda Radner

P.S.: I'll start reblogging stuff :)